Welcome to my blog. In the past I have written just random topics. But I am going to start a series on Abortion Recovery. This is just an introductory before I get into the subject. Please feel free to ask questions or make comments. This blog will be Biblical and I will be teaching that God does forgive your past.
When I was eight years old, my neighbor babysat me and my brother. One day she had her grandson at her house too. He was about 8 months old. I was fascinated. I fell in love with babies right then and there. I decided at the young age of eight that all I wanted to do in life was be a mommy. I couldn't wait to grow up and have my own babies. I was a very shy and insecure girl and teenager. But when people got to know me, I was very funny. I made people laugh. I guess I was insecure around boys. I felt I was ugly and that boys didn't like me. In fact I was bullied by boys. So when a boy seemed interested, I gave him what he wanted. I was still being "bullied" because boys just used me. I allowed it. BUT I gave up my virginity at the age of 17 to the guy I thought I would marry after high school. It was after this (our break up) that I became promiscuous. I am very ashamed of my past. VERY ASHAMED!!! I started dating a boy who was only 16 when I was 18. (He became my husband and the father of my three children) I was a bad person and corrupted him at such a young age of 16. We became pregnant. I was so ashamed. I didn't want to be pregnant yet. He told me to get an abortion. That was what people did in that kind of situation. It is not what I wanted to do. But I didn't know any other option. My parents would be so angry. I tried to hide it. To be continued...
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
AN AWESOME POEM
twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled wit...h such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA (my hometown)See More
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled wit...h such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA (my hometown)See More
What a day
It is a sad world when a person thinks happiness comes from smoking pot all day, getting drunk on a regular basis, not working because people enable you to live the free life, and lusting after women, having sex with anyone before the marriage commitment. Along with that is making someone obey you by beating them..people or animals. Does any of this truly make you happy? Any of these activities will bring you grief and heartache. You just wait. Those who want to help you, will stop because immoral behavior is not acceptable.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Dreams
I was at a meeting last night and was asked if I ask forgiveness for what I dream. Never thought about that. Dreams are not conscious thoughts, but they are in our mind. I have had dreams that I wondered how my mind could think of such evil things. This what he was talking about..ask forgiveness for these types of dreams.
I wrote another blog today, but wanted to write this one on dreams. At the end of my previous blog, I referenced a boat. My September 3rd blog is my "LET GO OF THE BOAT" story. It is not finalized yet. I plan on perfecting it and making it more of a poem. Anyway.....
"Let Go of the Boat" came from a dream I had. Some dreams are good like this one was. Some are bad..like the following...
I was working in a school room cleaning it up. There was a boy and girl there, kind of strange, they were just wandering around the room. I left to go home to eat supper. Everything at home was happy. I didnt want to leave, but I had to to finish cleaning the classroom for the teacher of this room. I got there and layed my purse down and began cleaning. A little boy was sort of helping me. A little girl with dark eyes was just wandering around the room. Three very rough looking teen boys came into the room and were asking me questions. The little boy had to leave, so I walked him out and watched him walk away into the night. I went back and finished cleaning. The little girl (who had on a red dress) was just standing there. The teens were gone. I knoticed my purse was gone. I asked the girl, she just stared. Along with her dark eyes, she had a very angry looking face. I couldnt leave until I found my purse. It had my life in it. (phone, money, credit cards, etc) I went to the office to call my husband..but the phones didnt work. The principal came in, he was dressed very feminime..very flashy. He behaved the same..flashy and very strange. He was no help. The teacher came in and I talked to her, but she ignored me. Adults came in without children. I thought these were parents of her students. They looked like they were in a trance. They sat at the small desks. THESE WERE HER STUDENTS! The teens came in and told me they took my purse and I had to find it. Then they were gone. I went into the next classroom and it was a dorm type room with beds and dressers and a bathroom. Very deranged students lived in this room. They all left, so I started searching for my purse. The bathroom was filthy. I pulled out drawers to the dressers and nightstands...all the drawers were upside down and empty!! There was a separate little room at the back of the big room. I started into the room, when a child said, "That's Otis's room. He will kill you" Otis wasn't in it, so I went in and found my purse on his dirty bed. I ran out of that school and down the sidewalk. AWAKE!! This disturbed me. Why would I dream that??
A dream about evil people. disturbed evil people. Scary.
I wrote another blog today, but wanted to write this one on dreams. At the end of my previous blog, I referenced a boat. My September 3rd blog is my "LET GO OF THE BOAT" story. It is not finalized yet. I plan on perfecting it and making it more of a poem. Anyway.....
"Let Go of the Boat" came from a dream I had. Some dreams are good like this one was. Some are bad..like the following...
I was working in a school room cleaning it up. There was a boy and girl there, kind of strange, they were just wandering around the room. I left to go home to eat supper. Everything at home was happy. I didnt want to leave, but I had to to finish cleaning the classroom for the teacher of this room. I got there and layed my purse down and began cleaning. A little boy was sort of helping me. A little girl with dark eyes was just wandering around the room. Three very rough looking teen boys came into the room and were asking me questions. The little boy had to leave, so I walked him out and watched him walk away into the night. I went back and finished cleaning. The little girl (who had on a red dress) was just standing there. The teens were gone. I knoticed my purse was gone. I asked the girl, she just stared. Along with her dark eyes, she had a very angry looking face. I couldnt leave until I found my purse. It had my life in it. (phone, money, credit cards, etc) I went to the office to call my husband..but the phones didnt work. The principal came in, he was dressed very feminime..very flashy. He behaved the same..flashy and very strange. He was no help. The teacher came in and I talked to her, but she ignored me. Adults came in without children. I thought these were parents of her students. They looked like they were in a trance. They sat at the small desks. THESE WERE HER STUDENTS! The teens came in and told me they took my purse and I had to find it. Then they were gone. I went into the next classroom and it was a dorm type room with beds and dressers and a bathroom. Very deranged students lived in this room. They all left, so I started searching for my purse. The bathroom was filthy. I pulled out drawers to the dressers and nightstands...all the drawers were upside down and empty!! There was a separate little room at the back of the big room. I started into the room, when a child said, "That's Otis's room. He will kill you" Otis wasn't in it, so I went in and found my purse on his dirty bed. I ran out of that school and down the sidewalk. AWAKE!! This disturbed me. Why would I dream that??
A dream about evil people. disturbed evil people. Scary.
Overwhelming : (
Well..I have so much I want to write about. It is the time of year of joy and holidays. Peace and Love. Family. Hmmm SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!
Today I look around and see sad things. I am trying to find the positive. I am looking forward a new Grandson. This is very joyous! Praises that my husband has a job..but work is very slow now thanks to Sandy. Yes still slow.
I sometimes just write to "vent". Writing is theraputic. I also pray and God gives me Peace.
I dont talk much. Out of fear people will run away from me or will argue with me. I dont like conflict at all. THIS is a weakness of mine. I also dont say anything sometimes because what will come out of my mouth will be anger. I dont have the ability to speak "in love"
My favorite saying of all is "If you can't say something nice , dont say nothing at all" (THUMPER)
The elections are over and I thought all the hate would stop. But it continues. Christians are being hateful about Obama. Pray for the man! He is the head of our country. But God is the head of the world. God is control! Stop complaining! Look to our God and Saviour. HE loves us very much. Show him you love HIM too. Sing Praises!
A woman is so unhappy in her marriage so she feels it is ok to have an affair. What about her children? She is neglecting them. If she hates her husband that much, why does she leave her children in his care 98% of the time? He is doing an awesome job of being a father to his children. This man is not well, but does the best he can. He loves his wife so very much and tries so hard to please her. He is a truly a gentle soul. Yes he has had his times of rage and has hurt her physically and emotionally. I UNDERSTAND! MORE THAN SHE KNOWS..I UNDERSTAND! I too have made the wrong choises to deal with my hurt. Circumstances are different..simular yet different. God used mine to bring me closer to him. He forgave me and he was patient. Maybe I should be patient with this woman. It breaks my heart though that she is "so happy" now and justifies her behavior....but she is blind to the fact that she is neglecting her husband and children. She is focused on herself. Please God get her focus back on YOU. Bring her back to you Lord.
I get so upset by evil people living evil lives and thinking everyone owes them something. They depend on others to GIVE them what they NEED. They spend their money on what they WANT. When deeds of kindness are done for them, they are ungrateful. So why would anyone want to continue doing nice things for them? Is this the wrong attitude?
How can people live a happy life getting drunk, getting high, having sex with man after man? I dont get it!! Then they complain when life is hard. I want to scream.....YOU DONT HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE!!!"
I try to be a loving example of Christ's love. I know the bible says to not grow weary doing good. But my heart is broken for people not living for Christ.
I cry over all the people mentioned in this blog. I pray for all of them.
I need to put them in the boat...and let go of the boat.
LET GO OF THE BOAT, LAURIE!!
Today I look around and see sad things. I am trying to find the positive. I am looking forward a new Grandson. This is very joyous! Praises that my husband has a job..but work is very slow now thanks to Sandy. Yes still slow.
I sometimes just write to "vent". Writing is theraputic. I also pray and God gives me Peace.
I dont talk much. Out of fear people will run away from me or will argue with me. I dont like conflict at all. THIS is a weakness of mine. I also dont say anything sometimes because what will come out of my mouth will be anger. I dont have the ability to speak "in love"
My favorite saying of all is "If you can't say something nice , dont say nothing at all" (THUMPER)
I thought the politcal stuff would stop after the election. The negativity is making me sick!! Where is the love? But I cant say anything negative to anyone or speak my mind because I get attacked like a lion pouncing to tear my mouth up.
The elections are over and I thought all the hate would stop. But it continues. Christians are being hateful about Obama. Pray for the man! He is the head of our country. But God is the head of the world. God is control! Stop complaining! Look to our God and Saviour. HE loves us very much. Show him you love HIM too. Sing Praises!
A woman is so unhappy in her marriage so she feels it is ok to have an affair. What about her children? She is neglecting them. If she hates her husband that much, why does she leave her children in his care 98% of the time? He is doing an awesome job of being a father to his children. This man is not well, but does the best he can. He loves his wife so very much and tries so hard to please her. He is a truly a gentle soul. Yes he has had his times of rage and has hurt her physically and emotionally. I UNDERSTAND! MORE THAN SHE KNOWS..I UNDERSTAND! I too have made the wrong choises to deal with my hurt. Circumstances are different..simular yet different. God used mine to bring me closer to him. He forgave me and he was patient. Maybe I should be patient with this woman. It breaks my heart though that she is "so happy" now and justifies her behavior....but she is blind to the fact that she is neglecting her husband and children. She is focused on herself. Please God get her focus back on YOU. Bring her back to you Lord.
I get so upset by evil people living evil lives and thinking everyone owes them something. They depend on others to GIVE them what they NEED. They spend their money on what they WANT. When deeds of kindness are done for them, they are ungrateful. So why would anyone want to continue doing nice things for them? Is this the wrong attitude?
How can people live a happy life getting drunk, getting high, having sex with man after man? I dont get it!! Then they complain when life is hard. I want to scream.....YOU DONT HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE!!!"
I try to be a loving example of Christ's love. I know the bible says to not grow weary doing good. But my heart is broken for people not living for Christ.
I cry over all the people mentioned in this blog. I pray for all of them.
I need to put them in the boat...and let go of the boat.
LET GO OF THE BOAT, LAURIE!!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Pot..Yeah, THAT'S THE WAY TO LIVE!
The Bible says that if a man doesn't work, he wont eat. Meaning a man should work if he wants God to provide food for him. This is why we say a blessing before we eat, thanking God for the food. A man should not make his wife (or in todays world..his girlfriend, mother of his children) go out and work while he stays home and smokes pot or drinks. Leaving a child in the care of a person like this is just sinful. I know someone who works and leaves her baby with her pot smoking boyfriend. He doesn't want to work...manual labor is just too hard. Now she is talking about getting a second job. Why did she have a child if she wants to be away from it all the time. Thank the Lord she didn't abort like she did in the past. This couple complains they dont have any money to pay the electric or the rent. But they can buy pot, cigarettes and alcohol. Hmmm
Their excuse for him not working...he has to babysit. SHE should be home with the child and HE go to work. That is God's way. I know in these economic times a man may be out of a job. If he is looking though, at least he is "working" at finding employment. Not just being lazy and getting high. .
Their excuse for him not working...he has to babysit. SHE should be home with the child and HE go to work. That is God's way. I know in these economic times a man may be out of a job. If he is looking though, at least he is "working" at finding employment. Not just being lazy and getting high. .
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
PETE AND REPEAT
I know that I repeat a lot in my blogs. I am getting older so forgive me please. I am in a Bible study on friendship. I love learning more about Jesus and His example of friendship.
I used to be the "fun" friend. Growing up, I was the "life of the party" and made people laugh. Somehow somewhere this person "died" I blame it on emotional abuse. I was scared to be myself for many years. I want to be a fun friend. I have lost the ability to make friends. I am desparate to learn how to do this again. But I am blessed with people I consiter friends. I guess I try to hard to get everyone to like me and want to be around me. I try to hard to find a "best" friend. I have a best friend. She has been my best friend since I was 9. But sadly she lives in another state. I have to admit..I DO have friends. But I feel I am not the kind of friend I want to be. I had a life lesson this past week. I will talk about this later. It has to do with conflict and someone still being my "friend" even though I behaved badly. She thought nothing of it.
To come later, I will write on my DIRTY LAUNDRY and how God loves and forgives me. He sent his son to die for me! He sent his son to die for you too!!
I used to be the "fun" friend. Growing up, I was the "life of the party" and made people laugh. Somehow somewhere this person "died" I blame it on emotional abuse. I was scared to be myself for many years. I want to be a fun friend. I have lost the ability to make friends. I am desparate to learn how to do this again. But I am blessed with people I consiter friends. I guess I try to hard to get everyone to like me and want to be around me. I try to hard to find a "best" friend. I have a best friend. She has been my best friend since I was 9. But sadly she lives in another state. I have to admit..I DO have friends. But I feel I am not the kind of friend I want to be. I had a life lesson this past week. I will talk about this later. It has to do with conflict and someone still being my "friend" even though I behaved badly. She thought nothing of it.
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