LIFE IS CHANGING, BUT...
I was driving past Garner High school and it brought back many memories and thoughts. Garner High School was built in the 60's and my children's father went there in the 70s. My children went there in the 90s and 2000s. Many football games there. Many activities that we participated in. Now the building is gone and a new bigger one is coming up. This then led me to think about how life has so many changes. Nothing stays the same. New growth in housing, buildings businesses. People come into our lives and leave our lives, by moving on or by passing away. It is sort of sad in a way, but we are to think forward. The past may have been wonderful, but God says to not look to the past. Memories are good and they are bad. Forget the bad and hurt. Hang on to the happy memories. Hang on to the memories that made us grow. We are not who we used to be. There is a verse in the Bible about not thinking the past was better than today. (Ecc 7:10 ) Even though our lives are always changing , seasons they call it. Seasons of life as there are seasons of nature. The seasons are not always the same. Our lives are not always the same.( Ecc 3:1) BUT, there is one thing that is always always the same. God's word, and Jesus. (Heb 13:8) We can count on this. We can depend on this. We can trust this, as we can trust God that he has plans for us (Jeremiah 21:11) and he has our backs always always always! You just have to love His Son, Jesus Christ and believe He is the only way to eternity in Heaven. (John 14:6, John 3:36 and Romans 6:23) Heaven where there will be no more tears ever again. (Rev 21:4)
Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Rereading is a good thing.
You know how you will read the Bible and then you read it again, places that you have read before, but this time verses jump out at you. The verses are packed with information. It's been there, you just didn't notice before. How could you have missed it before. you ask yourself. God opens our eyes sometimes and our hearts. We are going through 1 Peter in church. Facinating...but the whole Bible is fascinating. Today we were in the second chapter. These verses just jumped out. Answers to questions I have been asked. I never knew where in the Bible it said what I said as truth.
1 Peter 2 (NIV)
These verses tell us, those who love the Lord and believe Jesus as our savior and the only way to Heaven, that were are not of this fallen world. We are set apart and we are different. It is ok to be different. We belong to God and not the world. We do Godly things and not worldly things. We follow God and not follow the worlds views and beliefs.
13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. 16 Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. 17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.
We believers in Christ are to be an example of Christ. Or try to, we are not perfect and God knows this and is forgiving. But try to do good. Some think that because they are Jesus followers and know they are going to heaven and that they will be forgiven, that they can just do as they please and continue sinning and doing bad things. Living a worldly life you might say. Cant have both , the world and Heaven. Live for the Lord, when you make a mistake, confess to God and repent. If you don't feel bad for your sin, then you have not repented (or turned away and try to do better) People who use this excuse to continue a sinful life because they know they are forgiven, need to read verse 16. Verse 17 says to show respect to EVERYONE!! We can respectfully tell someone that what they do is wrong. But we don't need to argue or get angry. State the truth and be respectful to them. If they don't listen, just walk away. Don't take things personally. The battle is a spiritual one. Walk away and pray for them. We are to love our family of believers (Jesus followers) This is where the Bible says to love. We love those in our family (Gods family) and respect those who are not. This verse 17, says soo much in how we deal with the world and with our family of fellow Jesus believers. RESPECT NON BELIEVERS, LOVE BELIEVERS. RESPECT IS ALSO SHOWING THE LOVE OF JESUS. WE DO LOVE THOSE WHO ARE WORLDLY, BY TELLING THEM OF THEIR SIN AND SHARING JESUS, THIS IS LOVE BECAUSE WE DONT WANT THEM TO GO TO HELL. WE WANT TO SEE EVERYONE IN HEAVEN WITH US. THAT IS LOVE, NOT WANTING ANYONE TO BURN.
1 Peter 2 (NIV)
2 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2
I knew that the angry way of dealing with people who hurt was wrong. That the Bible says that vengeance is wrong. Leave all that for God to deal with. HE has our backs. So this verse reminds me to not try to "get back or get even" , to not be jealous of those who hurt me or get away with doing wrong, to not talk badly about them which is what I understand slander to be. I am guilty about talking badly about those who have hurt me or took advantage and don't see what they have done is wrong. I just need to give it up to God. Lay it down at the feet of Jesus. "Let it go" or "Let it be" Sometimes we all just need to be reminded of what we already know in our hearts. Thank you God.
The Living Stone and a Chosen People
4 As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— 5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For in Scripture it says:
“See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame.”[b]
a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame.”[b]
7 Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
“The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”[c]
has become the cornerstone,”[c]
8 and,
“A stone that causes people to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.”[d]
and a rock that makes them fall.”[d]
They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.These verses tell us, those who love the Lord and believe Jesus as our savior and the only way to Heaven, that were are not of this fallen world. We are set apart and we are different. It is ok to be different. We belong to God and not the world. We do Godly things and not worldly things. We follow God and not follow the worlds views and beliefs.
Living Godly Lives in a Pagan Society
11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. 16 Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. 17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.
We believers in Christ are to be an example of Christ. Or try to, we are not perfect and God knows this and is forgiving. But try to do good. Some think that because they are Jesus followers and know they are going to heaven and that they will be forgiven, that they can just do as they please and continue sinning and doing bad things. Living a worldly life you might say. Cant have both , the world and Heaven. Live for the Lord, when you make a mistake, confess to God and repent. If you don't feel bad for your sin, then you have not repented (or turned away and try to do better) People who use this excuse to continue a sinful life because they know they are forgiven, need to read verse 16. Verse 17 says to show respect to EVERYONE!! We can respectfully tell someone that what they do is wrong. But we don't need to argue or get angry. State the truth and be respectful to them. If they don't listen, just walk away. Don't take things personally. The battle is a spiritual one. Walk away and pray for them. We are to love our family of believers (Jesus followers) This is where the Bible says to love. We love those in our family (Gods family) and respect those who are not. This verse 17, says soo much in how we deal with the world and with our family of fellow Jesus believers. RESPECT NON BELIEVERS, LOVE BELIEVERS. RESPECT IS ALSO SHOWING THE LOVE OF JESUS. WE DO LOVE THOSE WHO ARE WORLDLY, BY TELLING THEM OF THEIR SIN AND SHARING JESUS, THIS IS LOVE BECAUSE WE DONT WANT THEM TO GO TO HELL. WE WANT TO SEE EVERYONE IN HEAVEN WITH US. THAT IS LOVE, NOT WANTING ANYONE TO BURN.
Monday, January 1, 2018
December 31, 2017
I am riding in the car on the way to church and just staring at the clouds. Clouds are a sign there is a God. He is the only one who can paint such beauty in the sky. These clouds are in stripes. Lines across the sky. I had never really noticed this type of cloud. I was also thinking of the events of the year. Not good events...hurt and anger about one situation. Yesterday there was "drama". But today, it is all just funny and does not bother me. I am at peace. I said the things I wanted to say and I stated facts. I said things , not in anger, but in truth. Anyway, the last day of this year and all is well.
2018 is a new beginning. A new start. Jesus came as a baby...a new beginning, a new start. It is a God sighting that Christmas is so close to New Years. Thinking on the baby Jesus, the reason for the season (the reason for all seasons actually) and I was thinking, the past is the past, new starts for this year.
Then we arrived at church, the message (sermon) was related to my thoughts while on the way to church. The past is the past, look forward, grow and share Christ with others. New beginnings, New starts. A new year!!
When I got home, I saw a facebook post from a friend. It went along with what the message of today was. Isaiah 43:18-19
" Forget the former things; Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; Do you not perceive it?"
I am ready for 2018 and looking forward to it.
I am riding in the car on the way to church and just staring at the clouds. Clouds are a sign there is a God. He is the only one who can paint such beauty in the sky. These clouds are in stripes. Lines across the sky. I had never really noticed this type of cloud. I was also thinking of the events of the year. Not good events...hurt and anger about one situation. Yesterday there was "drama". But today, it is all just funny and does not bother me. I am at peace. I said the things I wanted to say and I stated facts. I said things , not in anger, but in truth. Anyway, the last day of this year and all is well.
2018 is a new beginning. A new start. Jesus came as a baby...a new beginning, a new start. It is a God sighting that Christmas is so close to New Years. Thinking on the baby Jesus, the reason for the season (the reason for all seasons actually) and I was thinking, the past is the past, new starts for this year.
Then we arrived at church, the message (sermon) was related to my thoughts while on the way to church. The past is the past, look forward, grow and share Christ with others. New beginnings, New starts. A new year!!
When I got home, I saw a facebook post from a friend. It went along with what the message of today was. Isaiah 43:18-19
" Forget the former things; Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; Do you not perceive it?"
I am ready for 2018 and looking forward to it.
Monday, July 10, 2017
HE IS WITH US
For past month (or so) I have run across the same message over and over though my daily Bible reading, devotional books and prayer times...and that is God is always with us and he listens. Sometimes with so much going on and a person feel overwhelmed with life or the world...he thinks...God is with me, but not doing anything. Or I know God is with me and I know I will be ok..I just have to trust Him. As I said, this message, "God is with you and He listens" has been popping up a lot. Today, God gave me an example in my own life and in something my mom said years ago. First, when my husband died and I was feeling the overwhelming sadness a couple of days after the funeral, my dad showed up at my house. He just sat down and opened the book that he was reading at the time. He was just "there" but that was so comforting. It reminded me of my dad throughout my childhood when he was not at work, most of the time he would be sitting in his chair and reading. My dad was always "there" and that was a comfort to me my whole life. Things may have been going on in my life that were bothersome, but my dad was there and I knew I was going to be ok. My mom told me the story of when she was in labor with me. She's in labor (at home, before they went to the hosp) and my dad is sitting in his chair reading. She said it really helped that he was there being calm, and she knew she was going to be ok because the love of her life was sitting not too far away, ready to do whatever she needed him to do. (My dad said he read the same sentence about a 100 times....he was nervous, but didnt let mom know it) So, God sighting, God is with us, always. Just knowing he is with us through the good and the bad and it looks like he is not doing anything, he is there WITH US, and that is a comfort. Forgive me for writing so much....another God sighting when Paul (my husband now) was picking me up from TN after my daughter broke her ankle, on the ride home, the song "Even If" came on and Paul was singing along with the song, it said a lot to me. With all the turmoil in the world and, it seems God is not doing anything. God wants everyone to turn to Him. So he allows it. He also allows those who reject Him to just live in their sin...thats what they want. But with all this trouble in our world, we belong to HIM. We are HIS. Our hope is in HIM. Our trust is in HIM. Our hope is in HIM ALONE. (got off on a tangent....for a second) Paul was singing and it was perfect...peace...a turning point in my marriage. All is well. (for the most part )
💖 God is good all the time. He cares.
For past month (or so) I have run across the same message over and over though my daily Bible reading, devotional books and prayer times...and that is God is always with us and he listens. Sometimes with so much going on and a person feel overwhelmed with life or the world...he thinks...God is with me, but not doing anything. Or I know God is with me and I know I will be ok..I just have to trust Him. As I said, this message, "God is with you and He listens" has been popping up a lot. Today, God gave me an example in my own life and in something my mom said years ago. First, when my husband died and I was feeling the overwhelming sadness a couple of days after the funeral, my dad showed up at my house. He just sat down and opened the book that he was reading at the time. He was just "there" but that was so comforting. It reminded me of my dad throughout my childhood when he was not at work, most of the time he would be sitting in his chair and reading. My dad was always "there" and that was a comfort to me my whole life. Things may have been going on in my life that were bothersome, but my dad was there and I knew I was going to be ok. My mom told me the story of when she was in labor with me. She's in labor (at home, before they went to the hosp) and my dad is sitting in his chair reading. She said it really helped that he was there being calm, and she knew she was going to be ok because the love of her life was sitting not too far away, ready to do whatever she needed him to do. (My dad said he read the same sentence about a 100 times....he was nervous, but didnt let mom know it) So, God sighting, God is with us, always. Just knowing he is with us through the good and the bad and it looks like he is not doing anything, he is there WITH US, and that is a comfort. Forgive me for writing so much....another God sighting when Paul (my husband now) was picking me up from TN after my daughter broke her ankle, on the ride home, the song "Even If" came on and Paul was singing along with the song, it said a lot to me. With all the turmoil in the world and, it seems God is not doing anything. God wants everyone to turn to Him. So he allows it. He also allows those who reject Him to just live in their sin...thats what they want. But with all this trouble in our world, we belong to HIM. We are HIS. Our hope is in HIM. Our trust is in HIM. Our hope is in HIM ALONE. (got off on a tangent....for a second) Paul was singing and it was perfect...peace...a turning point in my marriage. All is well. (for the most part )
💖 God is good all the time. He cares.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
I am starting to read a book and decided to comment on what I read. My preachers wife gave me the book to read and I thought about writing to her and sharing deep personal stuff as I read. But decided to just write on my blog and maybe share with her later. People are always giving me books to read. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I seem depressed or confused. I am not depressed. I over think. I think a lot. The book I have been given this time by my pastor's wife is on Self Talk. I am a happy person. Really I am, but I have voiced that I am ashamed of how I used to be. My past. I was very shy as a child, but I was also kind of mean to my friends. I was boy crazy. People have not seemed to like me. But there was a time, I was very funny and the life of the party. People liked me. I lied a lot. I like myself now. I think I am smart. I am quiet because I am not good at talking. I feel people don't care what I have to say. When I am talking, people cut me off. It happens over and over. So I write. My husband talks all the time. People love him. He lies. He is a narcissist. And people love him!! I am a good person and people don't like me. Ok..some of this might be my self talk. So I will continue to read the book and share my thoughts.
Repeating, I am a happy person. I love my Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a good mother. I find beauty in God's creations. Nature...trees and clouds. Animals, children, people. I love people. I want them to like me. My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them. He is the step dad. I could go into another long speech about all of this. But I don't want to think about it right now. I do know that I am not happy in my marriage. It is hard being married to a Narcissist. I feel trapped. Stuck. Marriage is a life commitment. I did marry him. I do worry about what other people think of me. So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book. Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life. God's way. Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives. So I will read and comment. Stay tuned........to be continued.
Repeating, I am a happy person. I love my Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a good mother. I find beauty in God's creations. Nature...trees and clouds. Animals, children, people. I love people. I want them to like me. My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them. He is the step dad. I could go into another long speech about all of this. But I don't want to think about it right now. I do know that I am not happy in my marriage. It is hard being married to a Narcissist. I feel trapped. Stuck. Marriage is a life commitment. I did marry him. I do worry about what other people think of me. So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book. Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life. God's way. Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives. So I will read and comment. Stay tuned........to be continued.
I am starting to read a book and decided to comment on what I read. My preachers wife gave me the book to read and I thought about writing to her and sharing deep personal stuff as I read. But decided to just write on my blog and maybe share with her later. People are always giving me books to read. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I seem depressed or confused. I am not depressed. I over think. I think a lot. The book I have been given this time by my pastor's wife is on Self Talk. I am a happy person. Really I am, but I have voiced that I am ashamed of how I used to be. My past. I was very shy as a child, but I was also kind of mean to my friends. I was boy crazy. People have not seemed to like me. But there was a time, I was very funny and the life of the party. People liked me. I lied a lot. I like myself now. I think I am smart. I am quiet because I am not good at talking. I feel people don't care what I have to say. When I am talking, people cut me off. It happens over and over. So I write. My husband talks all the time. People love him. He lies. He is a narcissist. And people love him!! I am a good person and people don't like me. Ok..some of this might be my self talk. So I will continue to read the book and share my thoughts.
Repeating, I am a happy person. I love my Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a good mother. I find beauty in God's creations. Nature...trees and clouds. Animals, children, people. I love people. I want them to like me. My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them. He is the step dad. I could go into another long speech about all of this. But I don't want to think about it right now. I do know that I am not happy in my marriage. It is hard being married to a Narcissist. I feel trapped. Stuck. Marriage is a life commitment. I did marry him. I do worry about what other people think of me. So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book. Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life. God's way. Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives. So I will read and comment. Stay tuned........to be continued.
Repeating, I am a happy person. I love my Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a good mother. I find beauty in God's creations. Nature...trees and clouds. Animals, children, people. I love people. I want them to like me. My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them. He is the step dad. I could go into another long speech about all of this. But I don't want to think about it right now. I do know that I am not happy in my marriage. It is hard being married to a Narcissist. I feel trapped. Stuck. Marriage is a life commitment. I did marry him. I do worry about what other people think of me. So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book. Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life. God's way. Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives. So I will read and comment. Stay tuned........to be continued.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
ARE THEY TOO FAR GONE?
Around 22 years ago I went to a bar ...alone...and there was this really cute man sitting near me. I ended up taking him to his house. But first we talked about our families. He had two little boys, but wasn't married. I had a whole family...married with children. He invited me in and then forced sex on me. Rape is what they call it. I didn't know. I felt violated. I went home and showered and scrubbed all areas of my body. He was a low life. I felt sorry for his kids. My mistake was going to a bar and being nice to give this handsome man a ride home. I am just too nice.
Now here it is 22 years later and I am a facebook addict. This man has a facebook page. From what I can tell he is a drunk. His life involves drinking all day until he passes out or ends up in the hospital. Sad. I checked on his sons. Both in their early 20s. 23 and 24. Both of their lives are employment where ever they can get it. Their jobs last about two weeks. They get paid well and just blow it. They both have been in and out of jail, prison, rehab, court, and the hospital for drug overdosing. A different sex partner almost weekly. I feel they are beyond hope. But are they? Jesus can turn people around and heal them. Is there a point when Jesus will just walk away? These two young men are so young to be in this kind of lifestyle. I pray they will someday find Jesus and look to him for a life changing.
Around 22 years ago I went to a bar ...alone...and there was this really cute man sitting near me. I ended up taking him to his house. But first we talked about our families. He had two little boys, but wasn't married. I had a whole family...married with children. He invited me in and then forced sex on me. Rape is what they call it. I didn't know. I felt violated. I went home and showered and scrubbed all areas of my body. He was a low life. I felt sorry for his kids. My mistake was going to a bar and being nice to give this handsome man a ride home. I am just too nice.
Now here it is 22 years later and I am a facebook addict. This man has a facebook page. From what I can tell he is a drunk. His life involves drinking all day until he passes out or ends up in the hospital. Sad. I checked on his sons. Both in their early 20s. 23 and 24. Both of their lives are employment where ever they can get it. Their jobs last about two weeks. They get paid well and just blow it. They both have been in and out of jail, prison, rehab, court, and the hospital for drug overdosing. A different sex partner almost weekly. I feel they are beyond hope. But are they? Jesus can turn people around and heal them. Is there a point when Jesus will just walk away? These two young men are so young to be in this kind of lifestyle. I pray they will someday find Jesus and look to him for a life changing.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
GOD SIGHTING
At my church, we have a time of sharing "God sightings" These are things that happen in our everyday normal lives that glorify God, reminds us of God, our prayer request or praises. I love this time during our church service because we share with each other. It also gives me a chance to get to know the others in my church family. We are just a small group now, but a close group. All different but with one thing in common, we love the Lord Jesus Christ .
My "God sighting" for today is: My future daughter in law posted on Facebook a video of a man singing, "Victory in Jesus" ( a beautiful hymn) She said it reminded her of her grandma who would sing it with a big smile on her face. This post is the best post I have ever seen on Facebook. It shows the love of Jesus shown by a grandmother. Singing for the Lord with joy. Her granddaughter watching and listening. It made an impact on the grandchild. What a legacy. Beautiful. My future daughter in law loves her grandma very much. Her grandma was a big part of her childhood. Grandparents have a huge impact on their grandchildren. They also raised the parents of these grandchildren. My mother's mother was the most Godly lady that I knew. She was so loving and caring. She reflected the Proverbs 31 women. The Godly wife and mother. She raised my mom who was also very Godly. My mom wanted her life to glorify God in everything she did.
She wanted her children to Love the Lord too. Mom loved the old hymns just as my future daughter in law's grandma did.
"There is joy in the Lord, there is hope in the knowledge of Him" These are the words that come to my mind when I think of my Lord and savior, Jesus. Our lives are not perfect. Not mine, not my moms, not my grandma's, not my daughter in law's and not her grandma's. But thinking that even when they were in crisis, they sang songs of worship to God. Songs of joy. Songs of thanksgiving. Thank you "manda" for posting your memory of your grandma singing about the Lord and smiling. God is so good.
My "God sighting" for today is: My future daughter in law posted on Facebook a video of a man singing, "Victory in Jesus" ( a beautiful hymn) She said it reminded her of her grandma who would sing it with a big smile on her face. This post is the best post I have ever seen on Facebook. It shows the love of Jesus shown by a grandmother. Singing for the Lord with joy. Her granddaughter watching and listening. It made an impact on the grandchild. What a legacy. Beautiful. My future daughter in law loves her grandma very much. Her grandma was a big part of her childhood. Grandparents have a huge impact on their grandchildren. They also raised the parents of these grandchildren. My mother's mother was the most Godly lady that I knew. She was so loving and caring. She reflected the Proverbs 31 women. The Godly wife and mother. She raised my mom who was also very Godly. My mom wanted her life to glorify God in everything she did.
She wanted her children to Love the Lord too. Mom loved the old hymns just as my future daughter in law's grandma did.
"There is joy in the Lord, there is hope in the knowledge of Him" These are the words that come to my mind when I think of my Lord and savior, Jesus. Our lives are not perfect. Not mine, not my moms, not my grandma's, not my daughter in law's and not her grandma's. But thinking that even when they were in crisis, they sang songs of worship to God. Songs of joy. Songs of thanksgiving. Thank you "manda" for posting your memory of your grandma singing about the Lord and smiling. God is so good.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
NOT DOING WELL
I love to write, and wish I did it daily. Or even weekly. I am angry with myself for not doing more often than I do.
Life has been so hard lately. Too much going on at one time. I feel alone. I have no one who truly cares to continue to hear my problems. I don't want to seem like all I talk about is doom, sadness, anger. But! I do post happy joyful things on facebook.
With so much stress and sadness and worries, I have withdrawn from talking to people. No one really cares except God. My life long childhood friend cares. But I don't want to be so depressed with her all the time. She has her own tragic events. I hurt for her. I cry over her losses.
My daughter just got married. A happy thing. She married a good man who loves her and her children. she is 10 hours away. She and the children are not here anymore. I miss them a lot. A happy loss. Little did we know the events to follow. Life changing events. All within a two week period. The bad within a weeks time.
My youngest moved out with his fiancee' My nest is empty. He is just 3 minutes down the road, but on his own now. Kind of a loss, but a happy one.
My son in law (my daughter's first husband and father of the children) died. He had been so sick and in the hospital for many months. He had just gotten out very soon after my daughter got married. The children were looking forward to coming here to spend the summer with their daddy. He passed less than two weeks before they were to travel here. They didn't get to see him before he passed. Heartbreaking. So heartbreaking. Heartbreaking for his parents as well.
The day of his memorial, my older son was in a very bad wreck. Hurt, but not severely. The witnesses have lied about what happened. Well maybe not lied, but saw what happened so differently than what actually happened. He needs an attorney.
My marriage is bad, in my opinion. I feel no love from my husband. Of course he feels the same way. He is very narcissistic in personality. Drives me crazy!! I hate it. I finally told him how I feel. But he didn't change. Just was very defensive. I don't know how to handle him. I don't know what to say. I cant talk to him. His mind is sick.
My father has been the executor of my moms estate and is in a horrible mess. He doesn't understand it all. He wont let me help. He wants to do everything on his own. I have lost sleep worrying over it. What a mess.
My heart hurt so much. I cry a lot. As I said earlier, I don't want to talk or see anyone that is not family. I am very antisocial right now. I just want my family. Is this normal? Do I need meds to help me feel better? I just need time to pray and think. Talk to my God. He is wise beyond our comprehension. He can make a way when there is no way.
There is a song that Jeremy Camp sings, that I have been listening over and over and over. HE KNOWS...HE KNOWS..EVERY HURT AND EVERY STING....
Life has been so hard lately. Too much going on at one time. I feel alone. I have no one who truly cares to continue to hear my problems. I don't want to seem like all I talk about is doom, sadness, anger. But! I do post happy joyful things on facebook.
With so much stress and sadness and worries, I have withdrawn from talking to people. No one really cares except God. My life long childhood friend cares. But I don't want to be so depressed with her all the time. She has her own tragic events. I hurt for her. I cry over her losses.
My daughter just got married. A happy thing. She married a good man who loves her and her children. she is 10 hours away. She and the children are not here anymore. I miss them a lot. A happy loss. Little did we know the events to follow. Life changing events. All within a two week period. The bad within a weeks time.
My youngest moved out with his fiancee' My nest is empty. He is just 3 minutes down the road, but on his own now. Kind of a loss, but a happy one.
My son in law (my daughter's first husband and father of the children) died. He had been so sick and in the hospital for many months. He had just gotten out very soon after my daughter got married. The children were looking forward to coming here to spend the summer with their daddy. He passed less than two weeks before they were to travel here. They didn't get to see him before he passed. Heartbreaking. So heartbreaking. Heartbreaking for his parents as well.
The day of his memorial, my older son was in a very bad wreck. Hurt, but not severely. The witnesses have lied about what happened. Well maybe not lied, but saw what happened so differently than what actually happened. He needs an attorney.
My marriage is bad, in my opinion. I feel no love from my husband. Of course he feels the same way. He is very narcissistic in personality. Drives me crazy!! I hate it. I finally told him how I feel. But he didn't change. Just was very defensive. I don't know how to handle him. I don't know what to say. I cant talk to him. His mind is sick.
My father has been the executor of my moms estate and is in a horrible mess. He doesn't understand it all. He wont let me help. He wants to do everything on his own. I have lost sleep worrying over it. What a mess.
My heart hurt so much. I cry a lot. As I said earlier, I don't want to talk or see anyone that is not family. I am very antisocial right now. I just want my family. Is this normal? Do I need meds to help me feel better? I just need time to pray and think. Talk to my God. He is wise beyond our comprehension. He can make a way when there is no way.
There is a song that Jeremy Camp sings, that I have been listening over and over and over. HE KNOWS...HE KNOWS..EVERY HURT AND EVERY STING....
Friday, March 6, 2015
IS THIS WHAT CHURCH IS FOR THIS "SEASON"?
I attend church for social reasons and to learn more about my God and Savior, Jesus Christ. But I am beginning to think the church of the 2000s is not what it should be.
We are told assemble together to pray and edify one another. To worship and learn as well.
BUT, I am beginning to wonder if a church is for Christ followers to gather together and share. Or is it a place for the worldly to feel better about their weekly lifestyles. It just seems that Christ followers would want to live a life that glorifies God. We should seek Godly wisdom and not worldly. There is a difference. In James 3 we learn of this.
I know of a church where the majority are a group of "best friends" The pastor seems to ignore the life styles of those who attend his church. There are people who only post photos of themselves partying it up with mixed drinks, shots and beer on the public media. Yes they go to church and pretend they are followers of Christ. I feel what people put on public media shows where their "treasure" is. Then there those who have no interest in what is being said. Women serving communion. Children who are not Christ followers participating in communion. Communion is a very special thing, Not to be taken lightly. People who only attend church when there is a meal to be done before or after church service. There is no commitment to attending church. There are also people who think it is ok for unmarried people to live together as they were married. People who talk on and on about things of Bible nature, yet they know not what they are talking about "Know it alls" who dominate conversations. People who read their Bibles, yet don't do what it says. They treat other badly and have foul mouths that spew out cuss words.
So do we let those who badly need Jesus to attend, but say nothing about their life styles? Do we only have churches with those who are very interested in what God has to say through the Bible and they live their daily lives trying to glorify Him in all they do? Am I being to judgemental?
We are told assemble together to pray and edify one another. To worship and learn as well.
BUT, I am beginning to wonder if a church is for Christ followers to gather together and share. Or is it a place for the worldly to feel better about their weekly lifestyles. It just seems that Christ followers would want to live a life that glorifies God. We should seek Godly wisdom and not worldly. There is a difference. In James 3 we learn of this.
I know of a church where the majority are a group of "best friends" The pastor seems to ignore the life styles of those who attend his church. There are people who only post photos of themselves partying it up with mixed drinks, shots and beer on the public media. Yes they go to church and pretend they are followers of Christ. I feel what people put on public media shows where their "treasure" is. Then there those who have no interest in what is being said. Women serving communion. Children who are not Christ followers participating in communion. Communion is a very special thing, Not to be taken lightly. People who only attend church when there is a meal to be done before or after church service. There is no commitment to attending church. There are also people who think it is ok for unmarried people to live together as they were married. People who talk on and on about things of Bible nature, yet they know not what they are talking about "Know it alls" who dominate conversations. People who read their Bibles, yet don't do what it says. They treat other badly and have foul mouths that spew out cuss words.
So do we let those who badly need Jesus to attend, but say nothing about their life styles? Do we only have churches with those who are very interested in what God has to say through the Bible and they live their daily lives trying to glorify Him in all they do? Am I being to judgemental?
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
"The Rest of the Story"
Eighty one years ago a lady named Ruth gave birth to twins. It was December third, in the year of our Lord, nineteen thirty three. The twins were not due for quite some time. The first baby was a girl, Jan who was so tiny and fragile. Then arrived a tiny baby boy, Thomas. Sadly Thomas only lived for a short time. Ruth was a nurse and she did everything she knew to take care of her precious miracle. You see back in those days a premature infant did not survive. Jan was a miracle. God had a plan. Ruth raised her daughter to be a God honoring lady. Ruth herself was a very God honoring wife and mother. Jan had a good example to follow.
Jan survived and had a childhood on a farm. She went off to college, where she fell in love and later married. A few years passed and she welcomed a baby daughter. Fast forward in time, at the age of nineteen this daughter found herself pregnant. She was not married and was very scared. She saw no solution or hope for the situation except to terminate the pregnancy. Jan being a follower of Christ, knew it was wrong. She tried to talk to her daughter, but the daughter didn't listen. She prayed and prayed about it. She felt much guilt because she thought she taught her daughter to make better choices. Jan was hurting so she called her mother and shared her painful feelings. Ruth told her a story that gave her some comfort. A story of forgiveness and comfort.
Years went by and Jan's daughter was battling shame on a daily basis. She would pray and tell God she wanted her baby back. The guilt was overwhelming. She told her mother that she regretted her decision to kill her first child. It was then that Jan told her daughter her grandmother's story.
When Ruth found out she was pregnant, it was a very poor time for her family. The timing was wrong. So being a nurse, she knew of a medicine that could possibly terminate her pregnancy. It didn't work...or did it? Then when it was too soon for the babies to be born, she went into labor. She felt a over baring guilt and shame for many years because her babies came so early and her husband's son had died. She loved her little Jan dearly and tended to her to keep her alive. She rejoiced daily as tiny Jan got bigger and stronger.
But inside Ruth felt God was angry with her. She learned through scripture reading that God loves her dearly and that He knows we make mistakes. This is why he sent his son to die for us. She had known this all her life and was thankful that God reminded her.
You see Jan feared that her mother would shun her daughter. But it was not the case. Ruth loved her granddaughter even more. She taught her granddaughter that Jesus loves us no matter what! She taught her by her example of how a Godly woman should be. A loving and serving wife and mother.
My grandmother was the most loving person I have ever known. Everything she did was showing love. I miss her hugs. Hugs from a grandparent are very warming. This is why I love hugging my grandchildren. My grandmother was the most Godly woman I knew. My mother was very Godly too and she had a good teacher. My grandmother loved my mom dearly. Mom was very precious to my grandma. My grandma loved each of her daughters with all of her heart.
Mom passed away 10 years ago as I was sitting beside her. I was sitting and just listening to her deep breathing..lost in my own thoughts when all of the sudden it was very quiet.
Thank you Lord for my grandma, who loved her little miracle. Thank you Lord for my mom who would have been eighty one today.
Jan survived and had a childhood on a farm. She went off to college, where she fell in love and later married. A few years passed and she welcomed a baby daughter. Fast forward in time, at the age of nineteen this daughter found herself pregnant. She was not married and was very scared. She saw no solution or hope for the situation except to terminate the pregnancy. Jan being a follower of Christ, knew it was wrong. She tried to talk to her daughter, but the daughter didn't listen. She prayed and prayed about it. She felt much guilt because she thought she taught her daughter to make better choices. Jan was hurting so she called her mother and shared her painful feelings. Ruth told her a story that gave her some comfort. A story of forgiveness and comfort.
Years went by and Jan's daughter was battling shame on a daily basis. She would pray and tell God she wanted her baby back. The guilt was overwhelming. She told her mother that she regretted her decision to kill her first child. It was then that Jan told her daughter her grandmother's story.
When Ruth found out she was pregnant, it was a very poor time for her family. The timing was wrong. So being a nurse, she knew of a medicine that could possibly terminate her pregnancy. It didn't work...or did it? Then when it was too soon for the babies to be born, she went into labor. She felt a over baring guilt and shame for many years because her babies came so early and her husband's son had died. She loved her little Jan dearly and tended to her to keep her alive. She rejoiced daily as tiny Jan got bigger and stronger.
But inside Ruth felt God was angry with her. She learned through scripture reading that God loves her dearly and that He knows we make mistakes. This is why he sent his son to die for us. She had known this all her life and was thankful that God reminded her.
You see Jan feared that her mother would shun her daughter. But it was not the case. Ruth loved her granddaughter even more. She taught her granddaughter that Jesus loves us no matter what! She taught her by her example of how a Godly woman should be. A loving and serving wife and mother.
My grandmother was the most loving person I have ever known. Everything she did was showing love. I miss her hugs. Hugs from a grandparent are very warming. This is why I love hugging my grandchildren. My grandmother was the most Godly woman I knew. My mother was very Godly too and she had a good teacher. My grandmother loved my mom dearly. Mom was very precious to my grandma. My grandma loved each of her daughters with all of her heart.
Mom passed away 10 years ago as I was sitting beside her. I was sitting and just listening to her deep breathing..lost in my own thoughts when all of the sudden it was very quiet.
Thank you Lord for my grandma, who loved her little miracle. Thank you Lord for my mom who would have been eighty one today.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Truth
Its not up to us to judge. We should speak the truth and if people don't listen, walk away. God will judge them for not following HIS rules. There are so many sins in this world that God lists in the Bible. A lot of them are worldly and wont get you into Heaven. Heaven is where Jesus is. Heaven is eternal. Not everyone will get to go to Heaven. Some will go to the fire for eternity.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Needing To Think.
I have not been on for quite some time. I do love to write and I think of things to write about all the time. But I have been lazy and depressed and so I am not getting the things done that I want to get done. There is even a Bible verse about this. There has been some things that are troubling me. Behaviors of Christians. There is a new Christianity movement out there where we treat everyone with love and acceptance. But this is not scriptural. We are to speak the truth to other in love. If they argue or disagree. Just walk away. Brush the dirt off of your shoes and go. They are rejecting God's word, not you. There are also those who are very bold and make accusations towards others..with arrogance. I don't think this is right either. Then there are those who talk the talk, read their Bibles daily, but treat people with malice and anger. When it is mentioned to them that they do this, they are nice for a short time and then go back to being verbally foul mouthed angry people. But to their church friends, they are the perfect Christian and the accuser is just a hot head.
I am going to search scripture and study on how we are be witnesses for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I believe that the relationship between a believer and Jesus is a private one. We are to live quiet lives and by our example..and our loving words of scripture, others will see Christ in us. They will see our light. I want to be a candle for Christ. I just think aggression and arrogance are not how to tell people about Jesus.
I am not perfect. I have anger issues against those who don't follow the rules. Any rules or laws. I do have fits of anger, but I am so ashamed of my anger and I repent. I know God forgives me. I just don't understand people who hurt others and don't ask for forgiveness. They think they have done nothing wrong. Self minded and narccistic .
More Later.
I am going to search scripture and study on how we are be witnesses for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I believe that the relationship between a believer and Jesus is a private one. We are to live quiet lives and by our example..and our loving words of scripture, others will see Christ in us. They will see our light. I want to be a candle for Christ. I just think aggression and arrogance are not how to tell people about Jesus.
I am not perfect. I have anger issues against those who don't follow the rules. Any rules or laws. I do have fits of anger, but I am so ashamed of my anger and I repent. I know God forgives me. I just don't understand people who hurt others and don't ask for forgiveness. They think they have done nothing wrong. Self minded and narccistic .
More Later.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
SERVING OR ENABLING
I am taking a break from my studies to write a short blog on what I am learning and relearning. My love is writing, but there is so much that I want to write down. I also love studying the Bible. This is my motivation to pass on what I learn. I have come to realize there is a fine line between serving others as he Bible tells to do (which Jesus was the perfect example) and enabling. Enabling has to do with sin. An enabler helps a sinner to continue in their sin. They may feel they are doing it out of love, but it is not love to help someone continue in their sinful life. I will write more on this later after I do a thorough research on the two topics.
Today I want to talk about Matthew 6:21 "Your heart will be where your treasure is" This verse comes up a lot when I research clutter and hoarding. hoarding is sinful. Hanging on to stuff is sin. Some say it is a mental illness. Perhaps for some it is. But for others, it is just worshiping your belongings. We don't need a lot of belongs. We are to just have what we need in life. Items that we absolutely love are those things that we should keep if they are not things we need in life. Everything EVERYTHING! that we have should be for the glory of God or to glorify God. If you are trying to declutter, ask yourself, "Does it Glorify God?" If not, toss it, sell it or donate it. A gift or a souvenir can be something that glorifies God because it is a memory of a loved one or a special time in our lives that we consider a blessing from God.
We should work hard for what we need in life. Work. Serving others is a type of work. Working in pursuit of things that leave us empty and broken inside is not what God wants us to do. We should be weary doing what is good in God's eyes at the end of the day so that we can have a good rest. The Bible does say to not grow weary doing good. This means to not give up. Keep doing good and God will bless you in his time. Keep fighting the fight. Go for the reward which is Heaven. Life is all about Jesus and our reward is Heaven. Jesus is our path to Heaven.
I am so sickened by selfish people. Pursuing what they want. Hurting others who get in their way. They grow weary pursuing things that never satisfy. They are never satisfied. They want more and more. They want it better next time. A higher high you might say. Self and possessions can be sinful.
Enabling helps another with their selfish wants. Serving others is helping them with what they need in life to survive. Serving is love motivated. Enabling is not..by no means. If the Bible says something is a sin, condoning or defending the sin is not love. That is where hate come in. Love tries to stop the sin. Hate allows the sin to continue.
Love is not angry or hateful. Love speaks the truth. The truth is God's words. If someone wont listen when you speak the truth, walk away. Don't take it personally. Brush the dirt off your shoes as they did in the Bible and walk away. Pray for them. Pray for those who hurt you. Pray for your enemies!! Pray for the lost.
Read your Bible, talk to God and pray for others. Learn about Jesus. Serve others.
Today I want to talk about Matthew 6:21 "Your heart will be where your treasure is" This verse comes up a lot when I research clutter and hoarding. hoarding is sinful. Hanging on to stuff is sin. Some say it is a mental illness. Perhaps for some it is. But for others, it is just worshiping your belongings. We don't need a lot of belongs. We are to just have what we need in life. Items that we absolutely love are those things that we should keep if they are not things we need in life. Everything EVERYTHING! that we have should be for the glory of God or to glorify God. If you are trying to declutter, ask yourself, "Does it Glorify God?" If not, toss it, sell it or donate it. A gift or a souvenir can be something that glorifies God because it is a memory of a loved one or a special time in our lives that we consider a blessing from God.
We should work hard for what we need in life. Work. Serving others is a type of work. Working in pursuit of things that leave us empty and broken inside is not what God wants us to do. We should be weary doing what is good in God's eyes at the end of the day so that we can have a good rest. The Bible does say to not grow weary doing good. This means to not give up. Keep doing good and God will bless you in his time. Keep fighting the fight. Go for the reward which is Heaven. Life is all about Jesus and our reward is Heaven. Jesus is our path to Heaven.
I am so sickened by selfish people. Pursuing what they want. Hurting others who get in their way. They grow weary pursuing things that never satisfy. They are never satisfied. They want more and more. They want it better next time. A higher high you might say. Self and possessions can be sinful.
Enabling helps another with their selfish wants. Serving others is helping them with what they need in life to survive. Serving is love motivated. Enabling is not..by no means. If the Bible says something is a sin, condoning or defending the sin is not love. That is where hate come in. Love tries to stop the sin. Hate allows the sin to continue.
Love is not angry or hateful. Love speaks the truth. The truth is God's words. If someone wont listen when you speak the truth, walk away. Don't take it personally. Brush the dirt off your shoes as they did in the Bible and walk away. Pray for them. Pray for those who hurt you. Pray for your enemies!! Pray for the lost.
Read your Bible, talk to God and pray for others. Learn about Jesus. Serve others.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
EASTER 2013
It is Easter 2013 and for some reason this Easter is bringing on spiritual battles more so than in the past. I know that satan (his name does not deserve to be capitalized) is working his hardest during this time of year. So many arguments and disagreements going on. And it is not between Christians and non Christians. It is between Christians!
Easter is the celebration of the death of Jesus and His resurrection. Jesus died for our sins. This was God's plan. Jesus rose from the dead and is making a place for us. He will come again. If you believe in Jesus you will live in eternity (Heaven) with him.
Here a few instructions from the Bible:
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No sin is worse than another, sin is sin. We all sin and should ask for forgiveness and repent (stop it)
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John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
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The only way to God and Heaven is to believe in Jesus and in his life. He set the example of how we should live. We should set an example for those who don't know Jesus as their personal saviour. Getting to know Jesus is as easy as reading the Bible and praying. The whole Bible is relivant.
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Serve others as Jesus served. He is our example. The saying, "What would Jesus do?" is a good mindset.
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DO NOT ARGUE , JUST STATE THE TRUTH AND BE KIND.
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John 8:32
"And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"
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Easter is the celebration of the death of Jesus and His resurrection. Jesus died for our sins. This was God's plan. Jesus rose from the dead and is making a place for us. He will come again. If you believe in Jesus you will live in eternity (Heaven) with him.
Here a few instructions from the Bible:
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1 John 2:4
Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No sin is worse than another, sin is sin. We all sin and should ask for forgiveness and repent (stop it)
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John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
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The only way to God and Heaven is to believe in Jesus and in his life. He set the example of how we should live. We should set an example for those who don't know Jesus as their personal saviour. Getting to know Jesus is as easy as reading the Bible and praying. The whole Bible is relivant.
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2 Timothy 3:16 ESV
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 Peter 4:10-11
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.*********************************************************************************
Serve others as Jesus served. He is our example. The saying, "What would Jesus do?" is a good mindset.
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DO NOT ARGUE , JUST STATE THE TRUTH AND BE KIND.
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John 8:32
"And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"
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2 Timothy 2:23-24 ESV
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,Philippians 2:14 ESV
Do all things without grumbling or questioning,Romans 12:19 ESV
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”Proverbs 15:1 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Titus 3:1-2 ESV
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.Romans 14:19 ESV
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.1 Corinthians 13:1-13 ESV
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ...1 Peter 2:21 ESV /
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. .
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law
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Don't argue, Don't Judge, Be kind, State the truth and just walk away. God will handle the rest.
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JUST WALK AWAY!! Don't hang around and argue or get angy or upset.
*********************************************************************************Matthew 10:14 ESV / 10 helpful votes
And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.
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BEING ANGRY AND HATEFUL IS WRONG. HANDLE DISAGREEMENTS GOD'S WAY.
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Don't argue, Don't Judge, Be kind, State the truth and just walk away. God will handle the rest.
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JUST WALK AWAY!! Don't hang around and argue or get angy or upset.
*********************************************************************************Matthew 10:14 ESV / 10 helpful votes
And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.
Mark 6:11
And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.”Luke 9:5 ESV
And wherever they do not receive you, when you leave that town shake off the dust from your feet as a testimony against them.”Acts 13:51
But they shook off the dust from their feet against them~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013
SIDE AFFECTS
When a woman has an abortion, she goes through the same hormonal changes as those who given birth. Post partum depression being one. Add to that the sadness of a loss. Yes even though she has chosen to abort her baby, she will feel a loss. Grief. She will go through the stages of grief. These being DENIAL, ANGER, BARGANING, DEPRESSION AND ACCEPTANCE.
DENIAL: I did nothing wrong. It wasn't my fault.
ANGER: IT WASN'T MY FAULT. SOMEONE MADE ME DO IT. Or I hate myself for doing this!!
BARGAINING: I promise never to do that again if you.... I will be the best mommy ever if I can have a baby. I never want to have children.
DEPRESSION: Overwhelming guilt, sadness, drug and alcohal or drug abuse, remorse, self lothing and suicide.
ACCEPTANCE: I acknowledge what I have done. I am forgiven. I repent of this sin. I have healed.
I will write more on these later. I will write more on the "side affects" of abortion. But you can heal!! You can recover!!
Just know that God forgives you through the blood of Jesus Christ. God can turn a bad thing into a blessing.
DENIAL: I did nothing wrong. It wasn't my fault.
ANGER: IT WASN'T MY FAULT. SOMEONE MADE ME DO IT. Or I hate myself for doing this!!
BARGAINING: I promise never to do that again if you.... I will be the best mommy ever if I can have a baby. I never want to have children.
DEPRESSION: Overwhelming guilt, sadness, drug and alcohal or drug abuse, remorse, self lothing and suicide.
ACCEPTANCE: I acknowledge what I have done. I am forgiven. I repent of this sin. I have healed.
I will write more on these later. I will write more on the "side affects" of abortion. But you can heal!! You can recover!!
Just know that God forgives you through the blood of Jesus Christ. God can turn a bad thing into a blessing.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY
Went to a crisis pregnancy banquet/fundraiser last night. I was so impressed how easily that the speakers could confess their sin of abortion. If these well liked people could talk publically about this horrible thing, then maybe so can I. I have been so afraid to talk to people about myself and my past because I want people to like me. I have found that when I did talk about being married to a drug addict and all that entails, or the fact that he was abusive, people shunned me and didnt talk to me anymore. What would they think if I talked about killing my first baby? Some people say to not talk about the past or to forget it. But if I can help someone in some way, then I will talk about it. Also bringing the dark into the light can help with healing.
"Black is Black..I want my baby back" ''I am so sorry Lord" "My darling baby, I am so so so very sorry" I said these words over and over , almost daily for years. Many many tears. I felt like dirt. I deserved to be hurt. I learned that God does forgive this horrible sin. Through Jesus our Lord. His blood covered my sins. I just needed to forgive myself and accept God's forgiveness.
11 years and 15 days after the day I would like to forget, but I remember every detail, I was feeling so sad. I was reading the Bible and just crying ..sobbing..and telling my child that I was so sorry. The room got really quiet and so did I, " I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY" was spoken aloud. A sweet child's voice. At that moment, a huge weight had lifted. I had an enormous peace. I never felt guilty again. I knew I was forgiven and that it was all ok.
But I did still have the shame that I would ever do such a thing. But Jesus took my shame away too. He covered my shame.
Later through an abortion recovery group meeting I gave my baby a name..Emy Rose Evans. I always felt it was a little girl.
One day, years later, my mom and I were talking and she brought up the subject of that day I aborted my baby. She went with me to the Fleming Center which was an abortion place. That is all they did there. She felt such great guilt and so shamed that she would "support" me in doing that. (She was there for me because she loved me dearly but did not approve of my decision) She told me how bad she felt about that day. She felt so bad that she called her mother. My grandma was the most Godly lady I have ever known. She was an awesome woman. I thought, "NO!! YOU DIDNT TELL GRANDMA!!"
Grandma probably hated me then. How could I ever face my grandma again. My mom said that her mother told her "her story"
My grandma was pregnant with twins, my mom and her brother. My grandparents had a two year old already and they were very poor at the time. "How are we going to afford two more babies?" My grandma was a nurse and she knew of ways that women aborted babies back then. Some kind of medicine they could take. So my grandma took this medicine. It didnt work at that time. She went into labor two months later when the babie's were two months early. My mom's twin brother died. My grandma blamed herself. For years she blamed herself. My grandpa had lost all of his sons. He had no sons to carry on his name. My grandma felt she caused baby Thomas' death.
She took extra loving care of my mom when she was born. My mom always felt that she wasnt special..she felt her sisters mattered more to her mother. But my grandma told my mom that she was very special to her. She knew that God forgave her for what she did and she praised God for letting her little Janice survive. It was a mircle back in the early 30s for a baby so premature to survive..But God did It!! I miss my mom so much!! I praise God for Mother and daughter relationships. A gift that he gives us.
TO BE CONTINUED:
Later the affects of abortion...grief, depression, shame, drug and alcohol abuse, sin and more sin, and even suicide. God can get you through it. He loves you so much!!
"Black is Black..I want my baby back" ''I am so sorry Lord" "My darling baby, I am so so so very sorry" I said these words over and over , almost daily for years. Many many tears. I felt like dirt. I deserved to be hurt. I learned that God does forgive this horrible sin. Through Jesus our Lord. His blood covered my sins. I just needed to forgive myself and accept God's forgiveness.
11 years and 15 days after the day I would like to forget, but I remember every detail, I was feeling so sad. I was reading the Bible and just crying ..sobbing..and telling my child that I was so sorry. The room got really quiet and so did I, " I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY" was spoken aloud. A sweet child's voice. At that moment, a huge weight had lifted. I had an enormous peace. I never felt guilty again. I knew I was forgiven and that it was all ok.
But I did still have the shame that I would ever do such a thing. But Jesus took my shame away too. He covered my shame.
Later through an abortion recovery group meeting I gave my baby a name..Emy Rose Evans. I always felt it was a little girl.
One day, years later, my mom and I were talking and she brought up the subject of that day I aborted my baby. She went with me to the Fleming Center which was an abortion place. That is all they did there. She felt such great guilt and so shamed that she would "support" me in doing that. (She was there for me because she loved me dearly but did not approve of my decision) She told me how bad she felt about that day. She felt so bad that she called her mother. My grandma was the most Godly lady I have ever known. She was an awesome woman. I thought, "NO!! YOU DIDNT TELL GRANDMA!!"
Grandma probably hated me then. How could I ever face my grandma again. My mom said that her mother told her "her story"
My grandma was pregnant with twins, my mom and her brother. My grandparents had a two year old already and they were very poor at the time. "How are we going to afford two more babies?" My grandma was a nurse and she knew of ways that women aborted babies back then. Some kind of medicine they could take. So my grandma took this medicine. It didnt work at that time. She went into labor two months later when the babie's were two months early. My mom's twin brother died. My grandma blamed herself. For years she blamed herself. My grandpa had lost all of his sons. He had no sons to carry on his name. My grandma felt she caused baby Thomas' death.
She took extra loving care of my mom when she was born. My mom always felt that she wasnt special..she felt her sisters mattered more to her mother. But my grandma told my mom that she was very special to her. She knew that God forgave her for what she did and she praised God for letting her little Janice survive. It was a mircle back in the early 30s for a baby so premature to survive..But God did It!! I miss my mom so much!! I praise God for Mother and daughter relationships. A gift that he gives us.
TO BE CONTINUED:
Later the affects of abortion...grief, depression, shame, drug and alcohol abuse, sin and more sin, and even suicide. God can get you through it. He loves you so much!!
Monday, February 11, 2013
IT'S POSITIVE
I took my Dad's car and drove to my doctor with a jar of "pee". It was barely 8:00 AM. The nurse came back with the haunting words, "I'TS POSITVE" I choked a little and payed $10 and left. I cried when I told my boyfriend. He said to just get an abortion. That's what the girl down the street from him did....THREE TIMES!
After the shock wore off, I was kind of happy. A baby..that's what I always wanted. But I couldn't have it because then people would know I had sex outside of marriage. I could lose my job!! My dad would hate me. So began the plans of having an abortion. I called this lady I knew who had had an abortion because while she was married and her husband away in the Army, she got pregnant. Her husband had had a vasectomy. We planned for me to go to Winston Salem where she lived. But I would have to take off of work. For some reason my parents had to be involved. They said "no" and I got really upset. My dad thought it was odd, so he sent my mom in to ask me, "Are you in Trouble?" I was so ashamed! I couldn't face my dad. His advice was to break up with my boyfriend. All I could think of was that people would know that I had had sex. My mom tried to talk to me. We could handle it all she said. I was still a teenager and teens dont listen to their moms. And I was determined that the only choice was to abort. My mom with with me, even though she didnt approve. "Having My Baby...what a lovely way of saying how much you love me" was on the radio above my head. They called me back . I was truly hoping they would send me home pregnant. I told the little councilor that I didn't want to do this. "I Have always wanted to be a mother." "I love babies!" "This will prove it by not bring an unplanned one into the world", she said. We had a group session and I didn't talk at all. Then they asked us what kind of birth control I wanted to go on. She asked me and I said, "I am not having sex again." "You cant just stop having sex. It is like eating peanuts, you cant just stop. You will be back in a year"
While laying on the table, I asked the nurse, "I wonder if it is a boy or girl" "It's not a baby, it is a fetus. Just tissue. It is like a blueprint to a house. A blueprint is not a house. A fetus is not a baby" The doctor came in, I didn't like him right away. He had to pry my legs apart. A tear rolled down to my ear. I didn't cry even though I wanted to. I looked up just in time to see red stuff go through a tube into a VACUUM CLEANER!! THAT was when reality hit me. MY BABY WENT INTO A VACUUM CLEANER. Later I learned that they just threw the baby remains of that container into the dumpster!! A DUMPSTER!!! RIGHT BEHIND THE BUILDING! As I was walking out, "Black is Black, I want my baby back" was on the radio above my head.
(It was also a month after the abortion that I saw a picture of what my baby looked like at 9 weeks gestation) IT WAS A BABY!!
I sang that song over and over in my head for 11 years. I grieved for 11 years. I apologized to my baby and to God for 11 years.
God is forgiving..even for this horrible black sin. He sent his son to die for me.
To be continued...
Next time "I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY"
After the shock wore off, I was kind of happy. A baby..that's what I always wanted. But I couldn't have it because then people would know I had sex outside of marriage. I could lose my job!! My dad would hate me. So began the plans of having an abortion. I called this lady I knew who had had an abortion because while she was married and her husband away in the Army, she got pregnant. Her husband had had a vasectomy. We planned for me to go to Winston Salem where she lived. But I would have to take off of work. For some reason my parents had to be involved. They said "no" and I got really upset. My dad thought it was odd, so he sent my mom in to ask me, "Are you in Trouble?" I was so ashamed! I couldn't face my dad. His advice was to break up with my boyfriend. All I could think of was that people would know that I had had sex. My mom tried to talk to me. We could handle it all she said. I was still a teenager and teens dont listen to their moms. And I was determined that the only choice was to abort. My mom with with me, even though she didnt approve. "Having My Baby...what a lovely way of saying how much you love me" was on the radio above my head. They called me back . I was truly hoping they would send me home pregnant. I told the little councilor that I didn't want to do this. "I Have always wanted to be a mother." "I love babies!" "This will prove it by not bring an unplanned one into the world", she said. We had a group session and I didn't talk at all. Then they asked us what kind of birth control I wanted to go on. She asked me and I said, "I am not having sex again." "You cant just stop having sex. It is like eating peanuts, you cant just stop. You will be back in a year"
While laying on the table, I asked the nurse, "I wonder if it is a boy or girl" "It's not a baby, it is a fetus. Just tissue. It is like a blueprint to a house. A blueprint is not a house. A fetus is not a baby" The doctor came in, I didn't like him right away. He had to pry my legs apart. A tear rolled down to my ear. I didn't cry even though I wanted to. I looked up just in time to see red stuff go through a tube into a VACUUM CLEANER!! THAT was when reality hit me. MY BABY WENT INTO A VACUUM CLEANER. Later I learned that they just threw the baby remains of that container into the dumpster!! A DUMPSTER!!! RIGHT BEHIND THE BUILDING! As I was walking out, "Black is Black, I want my baby back" was on the radio above my head.
(It was also a month after the abortion that I saw a picture of what my baby looked like at 9 weeks gestation) IT WAS A BABY!!
I sang that song over and over in my head for 11 years. I grieved for 11 years. I apologized to my baby and to God for 11 years.
God is forgiving..even for this horrible black sin. He sent his son to die for me.
To be continued...
Next time "I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY"
Monday, November 19, 2012
Overwhelming : (
Well..I have so much I want to write about. It is the time of year of joy and holidays. Peace and Love. Family. Hmmm SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!
Today I look around and see sad things. I am trying to find the positive. I am looking forward a new Grandson. This is very joyous! Praises that my husband has a job..but work is very slow now thanks to Sandy. Yes still slow.
I sometimes just write to "vent". Writing is theraputic. I also pray and God gives me Peace.
I dont talk much. Out of fear people will run away from me or will argue with me. I dont like conflict at all. THIS is a weakness of mine. I also dont say anything sometimes because what will come out of my mouth will be anger. I dont have the ability to speak "in love"
My favorite saying of all is "If you can't say something nice , dont say nothing at all" (THUMPER)
The elections are over and I thought all the hate would stop. But it continues. Christians are being hateful about Obama. Pray for the man! He is the head of our country. But God is the head of the world. God is control! Stop complaining! Look to our God and Saviour. HE loves us very much. Show him you love HIM too. Sing Praises!
A woman is so unhappy in her marriage so she feels it is ok to have an affair. What about her children? She is neglecting them. If she hates her husband that much, why does she leave her children in his care 98% of the time? He is doing an awesome job of being a father to his children. This man is not well, but does the best he can. He loves his wife so very much and tries so hard to please her. He is a truly a gentle soul. Yes he has had his times of rage and has hurt her physically and emotionally. I UNDERSTAND! MORE THAN SHE KNOWS..I UNDERSTAND! I too have made the wrong choises to deal with my hurt. Circumstances are different..simular yet different. God used mine to bring me closer to him. He forgave me and he was patient. Maybe I should be patient with this woman. It breaks my heart though that she is "so happy" now and justifies her behavior....but she is blind to the fact that she is neglecting her husband and children. She is focused on herself. Please God get her focus back on YOU. Bring her back to you Lord.
I get so upset by evil people living evil lives and thinking everyone owes them something. They depend on others to GIVE them what they NEED. They spend their money on what they WANT. When deeds of kindness are done for them, they are ungrateful. So why would anyone want to continue doing nice things for them? Is this the wrong attitude?
How can people live a happy life getting drunk, getting high, having sex with man after man? I dont get it!! Then they complain when life is hard. I want to scream.....YOU DONT HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE!!!"
I try to be a loving example of Christ's love. I know the bible says to not grow weary doing good. But my heart is broken for people not living for Christ.
I cry over all the people mentioned in this blog. I pray for all of them.
I need to put them in the boat...and let go of the boat.
LET GO OF THE BOAT, LAURIE!!
Today I look around and see sad things. I am trying to find the positive. I am looking forward a new Grandson. This is very joyous! Praises that my husband has a job..but work is very slow now thanks to Sandy. Yes still slow.
I sometimes just write to "vent". Writing is theraputic. I also pray and God gives me Peace.
I dont talk much. Out of fear people will run away from me or will argue with me. I dont like conflict at all. THIS is a weakness of mine. I also dont say anything sometimes because what will come out of my mouth will be anger. I dont have the ability to speak "in love"
My favorite saying of all is "If you can't say something nice , dont say nothing at all" (THUMPER)
I thought the politcal stuff would stop after the election. The negativity is making me sick!! Where is the love? But I cant say anything negative to anyone or speak my mind because I get attacked like a lion pouncing to tear my mouth up.
The elections are over and I thought all the hate would stop. But it continues. Christians are being hateful about Obama. Pray for the man! He is the head of our country. But God is the head of the world. God is control! Stop complaining! Look to our God and Saviour. HE loves us very much. Show him you love HIM too. Sing Praises!
A woman is so unhappy in her marriage so she feels it is ok to have an affair. What about her children? She is neglecting them. If she hates her husband that much, why does she leave her children in his care 98% of the time? He is doing an awesome job of being a father to his children. This man is not well, but does the best he can. He loves his wife so very much and tries so hard to please her. He is a truly a gentle soul. Yes he has had his times of rage and has hurt her physically and emotionally. I UNDERSTAND! MORE THAN SHE KNOWS..I UNDERSTAND! I too have made the wrong choises to deal with my hurt. Circumstances are different..simular yet different. God used mine to bring me closer to him. He forgave me and he was patient. Maybe I should be patient with this woman. It breaks my heart though that she is "so happy" now and justifies her behavior....but she is blind to the fact that she is neglecting her husband and children. She is focused on herself. Please God get her focus back on YOU. Bring her back to you Lord.
I get so upset by evil people living evil lives and thinking everyone owes them something. They depend on others to GIVE them what they NEED. They spend their money on what they WANT. When deeds of kindness are done for them, they are ungrateful. So why would anyone want to continue doing nice things for them? Is this the wrong attitude?
How can people live a happy life getting drunk, getting high, having sex with man after man? I dont get it!! Then they complain when life is hard. I want to scream.....YOU DONT HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE!!!"
I try to be a loving example of Christ's love. I know the bible says to not grow weary doing good. But my heart is broken for people not living for Christ.
I cry over all the people mentioned in this blog. I pray for all of them.
I need to put them in the boat...and let go of the boat.
LET GO OF THE BOAT, LAURIE!!
Monday, September 3, 2012
LET GO OF THE BOAT!!!
MORE THAN JUST A BOAT
It was a beautiful sunny day, a nice breeze was blowing on the day that I took my bundles to the beach.
The waves were calm. The boat just rocked slowly in the water.
It was still partly on the sand so I could easily toss my bags into the boat.
I had bags of various sizes.
The big bags were heavy, but they were the easiest to toss into the boat
I had been told that I should toss all my bags into the boat.
One by one, I surrendered them to the boat.
Darkness was setting in.
As the tide came in, the waves were getting bigger
The waves were calm. The boat just rocked slowly in the water.
It was still partly on the sand so I could easily toss my bags into the boat.
I had bags of various sizes.
The big bags were heavy, but they were the easiest to toss into the boat
I had been told that I should toss all my bags into the boat.
One by one, I surrendered them to the boat.
Darkness was setting in.
As the tide came in, the waves were getting bigger
And the boat was rocking more and more.
I needed to get all my bags in the boat.
By the time I got them all in, the boat was rocking heavily.
Up and down went the boat.
I had to hang onto the boat so it wouldn’t float away.
I stood there holding the boat which was getting harder and harder to do.
I thought maybe I should take back some of the bags.
But I couldn’t reach in and get them for the boat as rocking too hard.
The waves were getting rougher and I was just hanging on.
Hanging on to the boat containing all my baggage.
It was getting so hard
To keep my
Grip on
the boat.
Holding on to the all my worries, my troubles, my heartaches, my burdens, my sins,
everything that I needed to unload into the boat.
" But some of them need to come back out! I can deal with them myself!!" I told myself.
I just kept holding on to the boat
As the waves grew stronger.
Holding,
holding,
Holding.
“LET GO OF THE BOAT!” HE SAID.
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