I feel like I am in a psychological battle. It's like hitting a wall. Time and money have no concept...money Bang! Time..bang! the same wall. No repect for what I want. a twisted concept of what I want. I want my life back. I want to go back to August 5, 2006 and start over. I have glimpes of having my life..but then it is back to that sa...me wall. The anger is gone..now it is just sadness. No one to talk to who will understand. I do have my Lord, Jesus Christ. So I can just pray. I am tired of people bashing my Lord. But it will be that way until he comes back and takes his church to heaven with him. I just need to focus on the good in my life. Yes , I have been blessed and am still being blessed. God is on my side. It is just this one thing...psychological twisting and trying to make me a robot. It needs to stop! Am I the selfish one who just wants things the way I want them? I am very giving and want to please my Lord and others. But this twisting to think ....bang bang that wall!! I am totally against everything he says and does....well not everything. I just dont like him..the wall. God help me. Maybe I am wrong.
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