WELL MAYBE...

I reading this book and don't see how it applies to me.  I like myself.  I think I am nice person.  I am highly sensitive and a little paranoid.  I do tell myself that people don't like me.  They like the ones who talk a lot and lie.  I am the opposite.  But I feel people think I lie.  I just don't know.  I will read on.....

More on Self Talk

      I am reading a book that someone gave to me to read.  I wondered what is wrong with me that people give me books to read.  My daughter said , " Maybe she thought it was a good book"   so I am reading it to see if it is something I need.  The author calls it "Soul Talk"  All is well with my soul.  Well I feel all IS  well with my soul.  But maybe not??  Maybe people see me as someone who is lost.  I try to prove to people all the time that I am NOT lost.  I am not blind or deaf to what God has to say.  I try to (maybe too hard) to let people know they are not living right.  I point out things that are not Holy.  I tell people all the time what the Bible says. 

      What I read today talks about what we say to ourselves about ourselves.  I'm a bad mother, I a failure, Etc..."  Well, I HAVE  said I was a failure.  But I like myself.  I don't understand why people don't like me.  That is what I tell myself.  I am a good, funny, smart and sweet.  But people talk to me and I guess I tell too much about myself and they never want to talk to me again.  I talk of my sorrows, my trials.  I guess I am talking to negatively.  I need people I can talk to about everything.  I do have my kids and my friend Erin.   I did get into a discussion on facebook about the ability to cry.  I was so argumentative.  It got kind of crazy.  I sure didn't represent Jesus very well.  That is my goal that people will see what God wants them to know.  That the world is bad.  Then on Sunday we sang a song that had a line, "Boast in Jesus"  I should just share Jesus and boast in HIM.  So far what I have read in this book, is not me.  I don't think badly of myself.  I think I am a likeable person, but others don't see it.  I am not a narcissist though.  No way!!!  I am very honest.  Maybe too honest.  Maybe that's why people don't like me.  I hate lyers.  Well not hate. 

I am starting to read a book and decided to comment on what I read.  My preachers wife gave me the book to read and I thought about writing to her and sharing deep personal stuff as I read.  But decided to just write on my blog and maybe share with  her later.   People are always giving me books to read.  It makes me feel like something is wrong with me.  I seem depressed or confused.  I am not depressed.  I over think.  I think a lot.  The book I have been given this time by my pastor's wife is on Self Talk.  I am a happy person.  Really I am, but I have voiced that I am ashamed of how I used to be.  My past.  I was very shy as a child, but I was also kind of mean to my friends.  I was boy crazy.  People have not seemed to like me.  But there was a time, I was very funny and the life of the party.  People liked me.  I lied a lot.   I like myself now.  I think I am smart.  I am quiet because I am not good at talking.  I feel people don't care what I have to say. When I am talking, people cut me off.  It happens over and over.   So I write. My husband talks all the time.  People love him.  He lies.  He is a narcissist.  And people love him!!  I am a good person and people don't like me.  Ok..some of this might be my self talk.  So I will continue to read the book and share my thoughts.  

Repeating, I am a happy person.  I love my Lord, Jesus Christ.  I am a good mother.  I find beauty in God's creations.  Nature...trees and clouds.  Animals, children, people.  I love people.  I want them to like me.  My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them.  He is the step dad.  I could go into another long speech about all of this.  But I don't want to think about it right now.  I do know that I am not happy in my marriage.  It is hard being married to a Narcissist.  I feel trapped.  Stuck.  Marriage is a life commitment.  I did marry him.  I do worry about what other people think of me.  So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book.  Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life.  God's way.  Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives.  So I will read and comment.  Stay tuned........to be continued.

 

I am starting to read a book and decided to comment on what I read.  My preachers wife gave me the book to read and I thought about writing to her and sharing deep personal stuff as I read.  But decided to just write on my blog and maybe share with  her later.   People are always giving me books to read.  It makes me feel like something is wrong with me.  I seem depressed or confused.  I am not depressed.  I over think.  I think a lot.  The book I have been given this time by my pastor's wife is on Self Talk.  I am a happy person.  Really I am, but I have voiced that I am ashamed of how I used to be.  My past.  I was very shy as a child, but I was also kind of mean to my friends.  I was boy crazy.  People have not seemed to like me.  But there was a time, I was very funny and the life of the party.  People liked me.  I lied a lot.   I like myself now.  I think I am smart.  I am quiet because I am not good at talking.  I feel people don't care what I have to say. When I am talking, people cut me off.  It happens over and over.   So I write. My husband talks all the time.  People love him.  He lies.  He is a narcissist.  And people love him!!  I am a good person and people don't like me.  Ok..some of this might be my self talk.  So I will continue to read the book and share my thoughts.  

Repeating, I am a happy person.  I love my Lord, Jesus Christ.  I am a good mother.  I find beauty in God's creations.  Nature...trees and clouds.  Animals, children, people.  I love people.  I want them to like me.  My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them.  He is the step dad.  I could go into another long speech about all of this.  But I don't want to think about it right now.  I do know that I am not happy in my marriage.  It is hard being married to a Narcissist.  I feel trapped.  Stuck.  Marriage is a life commitment.  I did marry him.  I do worry about what other people think of me.  So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book.  Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life.  God's way.  Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives.  So I will read and comment.  Stay tuned........to be continued.