I am starting to read a book and decided to comment on what I read.  My preachers wife gave me the book to read and I thought about writing to her and sharing deep personal stuff as I read.  But decided to just write on my blog and maybe share with  her later.   People are always giving me books to read.  It makes me feel like something is wrong with me.  I seem depressed or confused.  I am not depressed.  I over think.  I think a lot.  The book I have been given this time by my pastor's wife is on Self Talk.  I am a happy person.  Really I am, but I have voiced that I am ashamed of how I used to be.  My past.  I was very shy as a child, but I was also kind of mean to my friends.  I was boy crazy.  People have not seemed to like me.  But there was a time, I was very funny and the life of the party.  People liked me.  I lied a lot.   I like myself now.  I think I am smart.  I am quiet because I am not good at talking.  I feel people don't care what I have to say. When I am talking, people cut me off.  It happens over and over.   So I write. My husband talks all the time.  People love him.  He lies.  He is a narcissist.  And people love him!!  I am a good person and people don't like me.  Ok..some of this might be my self talk.  So I will continue to read the book and share my thoughts.  

Repeating, I am a happy person.  I love my Lord, Jesus Christ.  I am a good mother.  I find beauty in God's creations.  Nature...trees and clouds.  Animals, children, people.  I love people.  I want them to like me.  My children don't come to see me because my husband has been hurtful to them.  He is the step dad.  I could go into another long speech about all of this.  But I don't want to think about it right now.  I do know that I am not happy in my marriage.  It is hard being married to a Narcissist.  I feel trapped.  Stuck.  Marriage is a life commitment.  I did marry him.  I do worry about what other people think of me.  So maybe in her wisdom, my pastor's wife saw something that she thinks will benefit me from this book.  Even though the Bible is the ultimate help/how to love your life, live your life.  God's way.  Teaching us about Jesus and how we can be like him and how to grow and handle all situations we find in our lives.  So I will read and comment.  Stay tuned........to be continued.