I Just Feel This Way

Yes, I just feel this way.  I am a failure.  I fail at almost everything I do.  I get excited about something and do it, only to fail at it.  I try to do nice things for people, only to fail.   I want friends so desparately and I say something and scare them away.  I try to be positive and loving and kind.  But I guess I am not the kind of person that people like.  So depressing.  I am so lonely.  I have no friends.  I was so excited about making pumpkin soup for Halloween, but no one ate any.  I had to take it home.  My feelings are so hurt.  Last Halloween I made a graveyard cake.  No one ate any. 
I volunteered to be on a prayer group and I failed at that.  I failed at a volunteer job that I had. Christians are supposed to help each other.  We are family after all.   There    was  a time  that we  were desparte for finances and all we got was a box of food.  I am being boldly honest.  Our taxes had to be paid or the sherrif was going to put us out, our house would be forclosed on.  Food did help with a small portion of the finances.  However it was not food that I nomally buy..not for a diabetic. They did not ask what kinds of food we eat.  Perhap the buyer was buying for my son.  Some of the food was bought in such a large amount that it would go bad before it would be eaten.  We donated some of the food to the tornado victims.   I dont ask for help until I am so desparate.  I believe the Bible says to help other christians esp. members of the church.  They even collect money to help others on the 5th Sunday.  I am sure there was reasons for what happened with it all.  The lack of communication was the actual final indication that I did not belong at that church any more.  Time to move on.
This is satan making feel so worthless.  I am not good at anything he tells me.  Lord, I need you to tell me what I am good at.  I need someone to tell me they love me.  I dont feel cared about.  I feel so alone.  All this does not include my husband.  He works hard and is gone a lot.  He loves me.  Someone told me when I feel bad, to wait 24 hours and see how I feel then.  The bible says to keep doing good if surrounded by bad whether it be a bad situation, a bad feeling, a feeling of failure.  Pray on the situation.  Wait for Gods replay.  Know He is in control.  Hide in the Lord.  Be at Peace.   Read the Bible. 
I was in a Friendship Bible study and I said something very bad, now I am not in it anymore.  I had prayer requests on the prayer chain and my update was not posted.  Just because I dont go to that church anymore, I am banned from all the perks.   Well, I will spend today praying and reading God's word And doing what I would normally do. 
I admit that I am lazy.  I watch too much tv.  I am lax in my health.  I dont cook for my son.  I have so much to do and dont do it.  For years I blamed it on having to work, but now my life is staying home and managing a house hold.  I waste it.  I need motivation, I guess.  God motivate me.  But when I do get motivated to do something, I fail : (    The pumpkin soup.  : (        : ' (        : ' O