ARE THEY TOO FAR GONE? 

            Around 22 years ago I went to a bar ...alone...and there was this really cute man sitting near me.  I ended up taking him to his house.  But first we talked about our families.  He had two little boys, but wasn't married.  I had a whole family...married with children.  He invited me in and then forced sex on me.  Rape is what they call it.  I didn't know.  I felt violated.  I went home and showered and scrubbed all areas of my body.  He was a low life.  I felt sorry for his kids.  My mistake was going to a bar and being nice to give this handsome man a ride home.  I am just too nice. 
            Now here it is 22 years later and I am a facebook addict.  This man has a facebook page.  From what I can tell he is a drunk.  His life involves drinking all day until he passes out or ends up in the hospital.  Sad.  I checked on his sons.  Both in their early 20s.  23 and 24.  Both of their lives are employment where ever they can get it.  Their jobs last about two weeks.  They get paid well and just blow it.  They both have been in and out of jail, prison, rehab, court, and the hospital for drug overdosing. A different sex partner almost weekly.    I feel they are beyond hope.  But are they?  Jesus can turn people around and heal them.  Is there a point when Jesus will just walk away?  These two young men are so young to be in this kind of lifestyle.  I pray they will someday find Jesus and look to him for a life changing. 

SERVING OR ENABLING

      I  am taking a break from my studies to write a short blog on what I am learning and relearning.  My love is writing, but there is so much that I want to write down.  I also love studying the Bible.  This is my motivation to pass on what I learn.  I have come to realize there is a fine line between serving others as he Bible tells to do (which Jesus was the perfect example) and enabling.  Enabling has to do with sin.  An enabler helps a sinner to continue in their sin.  They may feel they are doing it out of love, but it is not love to help someone continue in their sinful life.  I will write more on this later after I do a thorough research on the two topics. 

      Today I want to talk about Matthew 6:21 "Your heart will be where your treasure is"   This verse comes up a lot when I research clutter and hoarding.  hoarding is sinful.  Hanging on to stuff is sin.  Some say it is a mental illness.  Perhaps for some it is.  But for others, it is just worshiping your belongings.  We don't need a lot of belongs.  We are to just have what we need in life.  Items that we absolutely love are those things that we should keep if they are not things we need in life.  Everything EVERYTHING! that we have should be for the glory of God or to glorify God.  If you are trying to declutter, ask yourself, "Does it Glorify God?" If not, toss it, sell it or donate it.  A gift or a souvenir can be something that glorifies God because it is a memory of a loved one or a special time in our lives that we consider a blessing from God. 

     We should work hard for what we need in life.  Work.  Serving others is a type of work.  Working in pursuit of things that leave us empty and broken inside is not what God wants us to do.  We should be weary doing what is good in God's eyes at the end of the day so that we can have a good rest.  The Bible does say to not grow weary doing good.  This means to not give up.  Keep doing good and God will bless you in his time.  Keep fighting the fight.  Go for the reward which is Heaven.  Life is all about Jesus and our reward is Heaven.  Jesus is our path to Heaven. 

     I am so sickened by selfish people.  Pursuing what they want.  Hurting others who get in their way.  They grow weary pursuing things that never satisfy.  They are never satisfied.  They want more and more.  They want it better next time.  A higher high you might say.  Self and possessions can be sinful. 

     Enabling helps another with their selfish wants.  Serving others is helping them with what they need in life to survive.  Serving is love motivated.  Enabling is not..by no means.  If the Bible says something is a sin, condoning or defending the sin is not love.  That is where hate come in.  Love tries to stop the sin.  Hate allows the sin to continue. 

    Love is not angry or hateful.  Love speaks the truth.  The truth is God's words.  If someone wont listen when you speak the truth, walk away.  Don't take it personally.  Brush the dirt off your shoes as they did in the Bible and walk away.  Pray for them.  Pray for those who hurt you.  Pray for your enemies!!  Pray for the lost. 

Read your Bible, talk to God and pray for others.  Learn about Jesus.  Serve others. 

IT'S POSITIVE

    I took my Dad's car and drove to my doctor with a jar of  "pee".  It was barely 8:00 AM.  The nurse came back with the haunting words, "I'TS POSITVE"    I choked a little and payed $10 and left.  I cried when I told my boyfriend.  He said to just get an abortion.  That's what the girl down the street from him did....THREE TIMES! 
   After the shock wore off, I was kind of happy. A baby..that's what I always wanted.  But I couldn't have it because then people would know I had sex outside of marriage.  I could lose my job!! My dad would hate me.  So began the plans of having an abortion.  I called this lady I knew who had had an abortion because while she was married and her husband away in the Army, she got pregnant.  Her husband had had a vasectomy.  We planned for me to go to Winston Salem where she lived.  But I would have to take off of work.  For some reason my parents had to be involved.  They said "no" and I got really upset.  My dad thought it was odd, so he sent my mom in to ask me, "Are you in Trouble?"   I was so ashamed!  I couldn't face my dad.  His advice was to break up with my boyfriend.  All I could think of was that people would know that I had had sex.  My mom tried to talk to me.  We could handle it all she said. I was still a teenager and teens dont listen to their moms. And I was determined that the only choice was to abort.  My mom with with me, even though she didnt approve.  "Having My Baby...what a lovely way of saying how much you love me" was on the radio above my head.   They called me back .  I was truly hoping they would send me home pregnant.  I told the little councilor that I didn't want to do this.  "I Have always wanted to be a mother."  "I love babies!"  "This will prove it by not bring an unplanned one into the world", she said.   We had a group session and I didn't talk at all.  Then they asked us what kind of birth control I wanted to go on.  She asked me and I said, "I am not having sex again."  "You cant just stop having sex.  It is like eating peanuts, you cant just stop.  You will be back in a year" 
    While laying on the table, I asked the nurse, "I wonder if it is a boy or girl"   "It's not a baby, it is a fetus.  Just tissue.  It is like a blueprint to a house.  A blueprint is not a house.  A fetus is not a baby"   The doctor came in, I didn't like him right away.  He had to pry my legs apart.  A tear rolled down to my ear.  I didn't cry even though I wanted to.  I looked up just in time to see red stuff go through a tube into a VACUUM CLEANER!! THAT was when reality hit me.  MY BABY WENT INTO A VACUUM CLEANER.   Later I learned that they just threw the baby remains of that container into the dumpster!! A DUMPSTER!!! RIGHT BEHIND THE BUILDING! As I was walking out, "Black is Black,  I want my baby back" was on the radio above my head. 

 (It was also a month after the abortion that I saw a picture of what my baby looked like at 9 weeks gestation) IT WAS A BABY!!  

I sang that song over and over in my head for 11 years.  I grieved for 11 years.  I apologized to my baby and to God for 11 years. 

God is forgiving..even for this horrible black sin.  He sent his son to die for me. 

To be continued...

Next time  "I FORGIVE YOU MOMMY"

LET GO OF THE BOAT!!!

MORE THAN JUST A BOAT

It was a beautiful sunny day, a nice breeze was blowing on the day that I took my bundles to the beach.

The waves were calm. The boat just rocked slowly in the water.
It was still partly on the sand so I could easily toss my bags into the boat.
I had bags of various sizes.

The big bags were heavy, but they were the easiest to toss into the boat

I had been told that I should toss all my bags into the boat.

One by one, I surrendered them to the boat.
Darkness was setting in.
As the tide came in, the waves were getting bigger

And the boat was rocking more and more.
I needed to get all my bags in the boat.
By the time I got them all in, the boat was rocking heavily.
Up and down went the boat.

I had to hang onto the boat so it wouldn’t float away.
I stood there holding the boat which was getting harder and harder to do.

I thought maybe I should take back some of the bags.

But I couldn’t reach in and get them for the boat as rocking too hard.
The waves were getting rougher and I was just hanging on.

Hanging on to the boat containing all my baggage.
It was getting so hard

To keep my

Grip on

the boat.




Holding on to the all my worries, my troubles, my heartaches, my burdens, my sins,

everything that I needed to unload into the boat.
" But some of them need to come back out! I can deal with them myself!!" I told myself.

I just kept holding on to the boat

As the waves grew stronger.

Holding,
holding,

Holding.



“LET GO OF THE BOAT!” HE SAID.

 

COMING SOON..YE'ALL COME ON BACK..PLEASE

 I am going to write reviews for books and movies..  The books are childrens chapter books that I have had since I was a child.  The movies are just random movies.  I just saw one that I really enjoyed, and it had a message to it.  It is listed under suspense and horror, but it is no where like either of these.  The movie is entitled, "The Tall Man"   About good and bad.  With a twist.  I highly recommend it.  Please come back from time to time.  I dont write on any kind of schedule, I just write when I have time, or the spirit moves me. 

Just Repeating.

Some of the things I write, are things I learned in Sunday School or in Church.  I am not trying to commit plagerizm by repeating what I have heard.  I hope people dont mind me repeating things that I have learned.  

I feel I have some kind of charactor flaw.  People seem to like me ok, and then I talk to them and they avoid me. I dont get invited to Bible studies.  I have offered my help, but I am not asked to help.  I am so lonesome.  Summer is better since my son is home.  But most of the time, I am home alone and bored!  Even though I have a thousand things to do.  When I am home, I am just so depressed and I dont do anything.  I guess my lot in life is to just be alone.  BUT I AM A PEOPLE PERSON!!   The people who took advantage of me, are the ones who everyone likes.  I am just stating how I feel.  You know, I used to be a very funny person.  But somehow that person died.  

The other day I was thinking how happy I was.  I guess I need to focus on my blessings and just not think about that ails me.  I am happy!  Really!! 

FORGIVE US OUT DEBTS AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS

 "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors"  One way that we say the Lords Prayer.  What is debt?  Is it always financial?  When we owe someone something.  Can oweing someone something be a slave/master situation?  It is a sin to be in debt or to owe anything to anyone.  What if you are the debtor?  What if you are the debtee?  What does the Bible say about being in debt?  What does the Bible say if someone owes you a debt?  What if you are overwhelmed with debt and have very little money?  What if your financial debt is part of your past or brought on by someone else.  So many questions that I hope to find answers to in God's Word.  What is God telling us??

Sorry, But I Have To Vent

Pondering this: Why dont people just go and get a job?  Instead of depending on others to house and feed them.  I know there are not many jobs out there, but make an attempt.  Flipping burgers is a job.   Instead they have sex out of marriage and have babies, but don't work.  Some expect others to just support them, others are doing the best they can and ask for nothing, and yet they suffer.  Having sex is for the those who are married. This is God's rule.   Some have sex with someone they just met.  Sex is for love.  How can a person know they love someone when they just met?   Some have sex just so they can be in a rich family.  They make excuses for their partner being a criminal.   Some are just young and in love.  Some are pot heads and drunks and then stop to become pregnant and think they are the best parent and know everything there is about parenting.  How can people survive without money?  How can they have babies with out money.  I know there are times that people need help from others but it should be temparary.  Not for the rest of their lives.  Sometimes a person needs government help.  Fine, but not forever!  I dont understand this partying all the time, sex without love and producing babies...and never working a job, just living off of someone else.  Children are supposed to grow up and go out on their own.  Not still living with their grandparents and parents and be totally dependant on them.  Then they wonder why their parents try to control them.  they are still under their parent's roof!!   I know sometimes this is the best for them.  If they are working then that makes it better.  They are doing the best they can until they can move out.  Praise the Lord for parents who do allow their adult children move in with them while they can get back on their feet.  As long as they are making an effort, all is fine.  But to allow your childs partner to live in the house too, makes no sense to me.  I can understand if the young people were married.   Sometimes it is best to not get married because there is a baby involved.  Having sex with someone you are not in love with is not right and then producing a baby out of this union is no reason to get married unless you love each other.  Kudos though for not aborting.  Abortion is the ultimate child abuse.   If you dont want a baby, then give it to someone who does.  To say you will abort again after having a baby just because you dont want a baby at that time, is insanity.  I fear for the child you have already.  If you would kill children, then whats to stop you from harming the one you have?    Some are so ready to become parents and some are not.  If married, then this shows you are ready for the responsibility of becoming a parent.  Dont have sex until you are married.  Your life will be so much better.  Well yeah..Babies are a joy and the best thing on earth!  It is hard to be a parent, but the love a child has for his parents is unconditional and so the parents need to have this overwhelming love for their child.  I just worry about people who are not ready to have  a baby, those who are druggies, and those who would have sex with anyone who lets them, and those who think everyone is going to house and feed them and they dont have to do a dang thing and be productive citizens.  I think sex before marriage is the root of all evil.  But you can be forgiven.  Jesus is the answer.  But you also have to change your ways and live to glorify and serve Jesus.  Yes Christians are to serve others too, but this is not just giving and giving to someone who is not doing anything for themselves.  Help them help themselves.  Remember the fish story in the Bible.  Teach a man to fish.  Dont fish and give him your fish.  Having him over for a fish meal is serving and loving.  But to just give away your hard earned fish everyday is not love.  Teaching him to fish is love.   I am done.

Psalms 37

I have been reading Psalms 37 over and over.  The message I get is to not fret and just be quiet.  Focus on Jesus.  After I pray over a situation and find peace, I will say more. 

I am thinking of using my blog for reviews too.  Book reviews and movie.  Come back again..

I have not written much lately.  I keep getting messages from things people say and things I have read that I should not lead anyone astray.  I dont want to say something that is wrong and have people follow me because of it.  I want to say truths set by God.  I certainly don't want to send someone down the wrong path..away from God.  But if the truth hurts, so be it.  If you love God you will follow Him and want to please him.  You would want to do what he says to do.  You would not want to do what he says to NOT do!!  So I stopped writing for a while.   But I love writing..so I wont stop. 

IN RESPONSE..

 In Roman16:17-20)

17 Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. 18 For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. 19 For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good, and innocent in what is evil. 20 And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.s it says, "

The wolves are creeping in.  In fact now that this Amendment one in North Carolina has passed, the wolves are being wolves!  They are heads of congregations too.  It is so saddening and bringing out anger.  Satan loves anger and rage.  Christians should not fight back.  Those who voted against are very upset and they are being hateful saying that those who voted "for" are for hate and that we are teaching our children hate.  Not true.  Everything we Christians do is based on what God has taught us.  Sin is not OK.  Never!  God has rules and we are to follow them.  If you go against God's rules your life will have turmoil.  Sex is for after marriage.  If everyone did as God said, there would not be all this controversy with unmarried couples and their children born out of wedlock.  They can turn their attitudes around and find this love that they are preaching that everyone is supposed to have.  They can turn their eyes upon Jesus and he will take care of them. 

Yes, God is all about Love.  He sent Jesus to die for us out of love.  But God is also vengful to those who dont accept His Son.  He is also vengful to those who disobey his "rules" 

This amendment has split up families and friends.    They are just blind and dont understand.  We can just pray as Jesus did when he was on the cross.  "Forgive them for they know not what they do." 

So how can we be angry with them?  It is not their fault that they are chasing the wrong thing. 

I just get so upset when they attack those who do understand.  We know the truth.  And if we did vote the wrong way, God can take a bad thing and turn it in to a good thing. 

Manners

What has happened to this thing called Manners or Good ediquette??  When a person gets an invitation, they should RSVP.  Respond Very Promply (I think)    Another thing that is bugging me is why do people think they dont have to do anything and that everyone owes them.  They are very self minded.  They dont show happiness for anyone else but when good things happen to them they expect everyone to just flock and celebrate with them.  They also dont say thank you for gifts they are given. 

Ok! Enough

It is so sad that there is so much conflict.  People disagreeing about almost EVERYTHING!  I am not going to go into the mess that North Carolina is in right now because of the Amendment one situation.  Then there is the Time Magazine with the breast fed child and his mom on the cover.  Oh my goodness, people are in an uproar about that.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But dont put others down for what their opinion is.  It is ok for a woman to give her child mommy milk.  There is a limit, though.  I dont think 2 or 3 is to old.  A woman can choose how long she wants to nurse her baby.  Everyone is different.  If you disagree and it has nothing to do with sinful behavior, then just be silent.  You dont have to agree.  God made woman to feed her babies.  The Bible says to be peaceful.  You can point out a sin but do it with love and not anger.  If a the sinful person doesnt listen..so what.  Dont take it personally.   Of course this is an area I need to work on.  I take everything personally and I dont like conflict at all.  It take me a while to get over insults.  This is my weakness.  I cant just shrug off hurtful things that are said to me.  God is working with me on this.  I have come a long way in not lashing out in anger or RAGE!  I now try to walk away. Or I  tell myself that, "They do not know what they do."   I just take it to the Lord and he gives me peace. 

Confused or Paranoid

Maybe I am trying to hard.  Too hard at what??  At being a Christian.  I think I understand it all and that I am doing well, then someone says something and I think the comment was directed at me.   Or is this paranoia?  All I know is that I am tired of feeling self conscious.  Self..maybe that is the word.  I am focusing on myself.   I am trying to not let this court judgement thing overwhelm me.  The court says I have to pay.  The lier won.  It is not fair.  I want to to the right thing in God's eyes.  What do I do?  Lord, What do I do??   I dont have any money.  I owe so much money.  so many doctor bills.  I want to do what is right.  I dont want to be sinful.  The Bible says to "BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD!"   So I will do nothing right now and be still and focus on God.,  Pray and Read the Holy Scriptures. 

B.I.B.L.E.

When I first heard this little saying...B.I.B.L.E. stands for "Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth"  I thought, "oh that is cool.  It is an instruction book"   But it is so much more than that!   It is more than just basic instruction.  It contains deep instructions, commands, and laws FROM GOD!  God is talking to us through the Bible.  The Bible is God's words.  Everything HE wants us to know.  Our history, how to live as Jesus lived, how to be Christ like, how to treat others to Glorify Him.  Every word in the Bible is has to do with God's son, Jesus Christ.  The Bible is the best book ever because it is God talking to his children.  He is showing us that he loves us.  He is our Heavenly father.  I have said before to read the Bible..read what God is saying to you.  Act on what you have read...Do it God's way.  His way is the best way.  We cant see it sometimes..but trusting Him to take care of us is all that matters. Trust Him.  We cant trust people or ourselves like we can Trust God.  He knows what is best! 

Once again, evil has prevailed.  Even through the courts, evil prevails.  How we react is important.  Satan would want us to be angry, get depressed, and go over the trial over and over in our heads. 
I had an appeal trial in front of a jury.  This young man lied and contradicted himself over and over.  I didnt have money for an attorney (he didnt have one either)  He still won and now there is a judgement against me.  That was THE most stressful day in my life.  My whole body ached when it was over.  I felt so sick and exhausted.  It consumed my mind for a couple of days.  But satan wont win by making me feel bad or tramatized.  God wants me to look to Him.  To find comfort in Him.  To find a  hiding place in Him.  Jesus went through so much more as the result of evil people.  He did this for Me!  He did it for you too.   There may be a lesson in all of this for me.  God will reveal it to me sometime.  Or he may just have a lesson for all that were involved.  Only God knows.  He is in control.  I will just be happy and trust God.  

To be honest, I dont have the money this young man was awarded.   It wont bother me if he goes to the steps to get payment.  What ever he needs to do, I will fully co-operate to get this debt removed.  I just know that I was honest in court, he was dishonest.  God, me and this young man KNOW what the truth was.   The jury fell for his lies.  Oh well.    I still have so much more to Praise God for.  I will be ok.

THAT WAS THEN....

THAT WAS THEN..

“It’s positive” she whispered

“WE DON’T DO ABORTIONS” the Crisis Pregnancy center lady bellowed

“You are making the right decision” the abortion center informed

“I don’t want to be here” I wept

“I have wanted to be mommy my whole life” I hinted

“Just send me home” I said to myself.

“I love children!!” I agonized.

“This will prove it” She declared

“By not bring an unplanned baby into the world” she dictated.

“I wonder if it is a boy or girl” I questioned

“It is not a baby, it is a fetus…it is just tissue” She protested

“a blueprint . Just like you have a blueprint for a house. The paper is not a house. Same way a fetus is not a baby” she maintained

“ I am scared! That man looks evil” I silently cried out

“Oh my God! It’s a vacuum cleaner!!” I thought in horror.

“You need to be on some type of birth control” she ordered

“before you can leave” she went on

“I am never having sex again” I revealed

“You cant just stop having sex” she retorted

“You will be back in a year” she uttered.

“I am never doing this again!!” I hissed

“I am overwhelmed with sadness” I divulged

“Lies. Lies. Lies” I shuttered

“Where is the hope?” I whimpered

                                   TO BE CONTINUED......THIS IS NOW
please come back again


THIS IS NOW.......

"It is positive"  I whispered

"I'm pregnant! Please help!" I exclaimed

"Would you like to come in and discuss it"  She spoke softly

"I want my baby!"  I affirmed.


"You made the right decision"  She reassured

"I love children!" I divulged.

"This will  prove it" She justified.

"By loving this gift from God"   She went on.

"The Bible says that God knitted every baby in its mother's womb"  She revealed.

"I don't want to have sex again"  I released.

"Abstinence is God's plan"  She informed

"Sex is a very special act between a married man and woman"  She continued.

"Jesus loves you and so do we"  She testified.

"I am so happy!"  I shed tears

"There IS Hope!"   I  rejoiced

"There is truth in the Lord"  She shared.

If there you or someone you know is in a crisis pregnancy, there is a place in Clayton, NC that you can go to and find the love of Jesus.  Help and resources too.  iChoose a Care Net center.

I TRIED

    It is hard to strike up conversation with someone who you have no idea what to talk about.  Me being sort of antisocial (shy) doesnt help.  I got the feeling that this person didnt really want to talk to me.  I asked if he watched the Oscar's and what movies he has seen.  He said he doesnt watch many movies.  But listening to him talk...he has seen many movies.  I started talking about TV shows.  He said he doesnt watch much TV, yet he knows about a lot of shows.  I asked if there are brewries in his area and stated it is fun to try different local beers.  He said he didnt drink beer, yet he knows a lot about different kinds of beer.  I dont know much about name brand beers.  but I do admit that I like to try different local handmade ones.  This may happen about three times a year.  All I can say is it was very awkward this visit with him.  So as always, after the initial point of me trying to be social, I just quit talking.  I feel I just should just keep my mouth shut eveywhere I go.  Except to just talk about what the Bible says and talk about Jesus.  I used to be funny and people liked being around me.  People used to talk to me all the time because I was a good listener.  I still am.  I love talking with people and hearing them tell stories or share what is on their hearts.  But people seem to shun me now.  I dont know what happened to make me stop being a talker.  I love people but they dont seem to like me back.  This is how I feel.  I am being very honest!  I need help in healing from some hurt I guess. 

Over and over

If a topic or a verse or a lesson keep coming up over and over, then this means that God is trying to teach you a lesson.  I am so disturbed by all the evil and hate in the world.  It breaks my heart.  But God does not want me to dwell on it.  We live in a fallen world!! All we can do is pray, teach others about Jesus and serve others just as Jesus served.  Today in Sunday School we talked about how precious we are to God.  When we are His through Jesus Christ, no one can "mess " with us.  If they do, HE will deal with them.  I found so much comfort in this.  We just need to keep doing what is right and not grow weary doing so.  We need to just keep our eyes focused on Jesus.  I am in a lawsuit and the young man tells so many lies.  We keep to the truth.  Telling the truth makes it easier to go through.  But twice, I have lost.  A friend of mine said that we will be experts at this final appeal.  I think she is right.  We will be more prepared.  I admit he is due something and my goal was for the court to decide what we owe him.  He is very frustrated because he having to fight to get money that he claims we owe him.  He won big time in the last appeal, but was very upset because we said we were appealing it again.  I have that right.  All I keep thinking is, "He started it"   I truly think he did not know what he was getting himself into when he filed the lawsuit.  I found confort in knowing that God will deal with him.  We will go this last and final round and speak the truth, set an offer on the table and let the judge decide.  This last time I will ready for the battle.  I am not scared! 

    In Sunday School, we also talked about people who are lost , people that we know.  I know of a group of people who are in the same family.  They make me so angry.  They judge me and tell me I am wrong in how I think.  I have been getting bolder in stating my opinions on their life styles.  Before I would just quote what the Bible said about different things.  I should not get so angry.  But ..But but!  They seem to prosper!!  Or get their way from enablers.  They complain about how unhappy they are! IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED JESUS!!! I want to yell at them.   Yes, I should feel sad for them.  All I can do is keep trying to teach them about Jesus.  Dont give up.   The class leader said that maybe some time something we say may spark something in the lost and they will want to know more.  One person in my life told me she wanted the peace that I had.  This person was the most evil person I knew on this earth, other than satan himself.  I thought there was no hope for her.  I still dont trust her, but she has made a complete turn around with her life.  I am happy for her.  Praise the Lord!!  She found a church that she loves.  She has been reading her Bible and it has powerful meaning to her.  God had proven to me that there is hope for everyone! I should not give up on anyone.  Thank you Lord.

JUST MOVE ON...WALK AWAY..TIME FOR A CHANGE...SEASONS CHANGE...

      Wow!  Has it been a year.  God has blessed us.  We are so thankful!  A year ago we were deparate.  My husband sold his truck so we could pay our bills.  I was very sad to see the truck go.  It was a nice truck, Ford F150.   But when this money was gone, we had nothing.  I worried.  I prayed.  It was suggested to ask our church to help us...after all the 5th Sundays offering was for helping others in need.  I thought we would qualify. We were "members"  It was all in God's hands and we went through the policies set by the church for helping others.  it didnt work out as I had thought it would.  Which is sometimes happens.  God doesnt answer prayers exactly like we think He will.   We did get a lot of food, so I guess this is how they saw fit to help us.   I was hurt.  I was kind of angry.  My dad, went to his bank and took out a loan to help us out.  I didnt think he should have had to do that.  Oh well.  Anyway, all of this is behind us.  The church is a wonderful church with wonderful people.  The pastor and his family are very good people.  Not all churches are the same, that is why there are so many churches and people just have to find one that they fit in with.  To me, a church should feel like family.  This is what I wanted.  Anyway,  we found a little church that I am very happy in.  My husband and son are happy there too.  I love watching it grow.  We are family!!  I think God was telling me to just move on...walk away..time for a change.  We have seasons at churches too.  I miss a lot at my previous church.  But I am so happy at my new church.  Thank you Lord.  My husband got a good job and has been with the job for a year.  Things are looking up.  We are slowly getting debts paid off. 

    Today I was thinking about all of this and realized that God gives us second chances and it is ok to "start over"    I truly believe He was in control of the whole situation and it was his plan for us to leave and go to another church.  I think back to my first marriage.  So rocky and stressful at times.  God just took me out of that marriage (my husband passed away)  and allowed me to start new.  A new life.  He brought me my new husband and now I am trying so hard to not make mistakes.  My past is gone and I am in a new season of life.  God has been good to me though all my seasons.  I take with me many lessons learned.  A lot of growth...but He's  not done with me yet!!  I feel qualified to teach and serve others in the area of the ministries of Abortion, Pregnancy, Parenthood, marriage to an abuser/unbeliever, and addiction.  I am not the addicted one (unless you can say I am addicted to donuts.  And donuts are a "no no" with diabetes)  I am still learning about addictions and about diabetes.  I want to be very educated in these two areas.   I am not bitter about my past.  I do need to confess though that I am still harboring anger towards my late husbands family.  They are all so lost.  All of them!  I pray God helps me with this.  Thank you for allowing me to share my life with you.  Until next time....God bless you and your day and your family.

LITTLE LESSONS

The Holy Bible says in many places that we cannot serve the world and God.  You cant be luke warm!  You cant serve two masters.  I keep seeing this message over and over.  I dont think I serve two masters, but perhaps I am.  I need to search myself.  I need to search the Holy Words for more information.  I just want to teach others that you should not preach Jesus and then go out to a bar, get drunk and commit fornication or adultry and then think "I am ok, I am a Christian and I will be forgiven"  this is NOT the right attitude.I am trying to teach this to a friend.    A Christian should want to please God. But we are human and make mistakes.  We should not keep making the same mistakes over and over. 

I came across some verses that really jumped out at me.  I want to share them with you. 

Isaiah 55:2  "Why do you  spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?  Listen carefully to ME, and eat what is good and delight yourself in abundance."  

Why do we spend money on food that is not good for us? Or for other things that are not good for us.  What a waste!!

Proverbs 3:6  " In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight"   

  This whole chapter is good advice.  Put God first in everything you do!!

Luke 22:27  "For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves?   it not the one who reclines at the table?  But I am among you as the one who serves"  

Jesus came to teach and to serve.  We should follow his example.  Serve one another!  Edify one another!  We are not to wait for others to wait (serve) us!.  This is selfish!!