Lifes Jouneys

      Last week was an great week for me.  I had a really bad panic/anxiety attack that I thought I should tell my doctor about, and he could prescribe something.  But I felt he would not believe me and I really don't want to "take another pill."   The cause of my anxiety is because of two people who conned and used my husband and I.  Liars and thieves, they are.  I do have a lot of anger and hurt towards them, well I did.  I have been praying.  Giving it to God.  He has my back. He will deal with them.  I have to trust this.  I have to trust God.  So now I pray.  The anxiety left and I had a wonderful week.  I felt so good.  One day I did have really bad migraine and all that goes along with that.  But it passed.  God has been teaching me little lessons all week.  The biggest thing that I learned is that when in a situation that affects us, God will teach little lessons along the way.  As long as we keep our focus on him and not let the situation rule us.  At first I was so angry with these people, angry with my husband.  I also felt conned by my husband.  Lies to me even before the other two were in my life.  The harm my husband did to my children and grandchildren.  The whole situation with so many different irritants and hurts.  My regrets of my marriage.  I did marry him, and divorce is not an option...not really.  God has my back.  He will handle all my struggles and hurts.   So at first when these two (three) stole and used us and my hubby enabled them to do so, I was raging angry.  God had to work on me with my anger.  Now almost two years later, God has taught me to just "let it go".  For the past four months I have been trying to make up the anger I showed to the two people.  Apologizing.  Their thing is they don't want to defend themselves or talk it out.  No responses or appreciation towards me.  I let them know that all is well with me now.  I just want to get along and be friends. 
      One lesson that keeps coming up is to be kind...TO EVERYONE!  Kindness. So I am working on kindness. 
        There is a preacher in Tennessee that I love.  His name is Cory, and he pastors Experience (something) church in Murfreesboro, TN.  He did a sermon on Family.  It was so good.  All of his sermons are good.  The one thing that stood out was wives are to respect their husbands.  Respect...don't talk badly of them.  Give the hurts to God.  Let him handle it.  Be kind.  Also, don't gossip.   kind and say kind things.  Give the negative to God.   He said a lot that really hit home in my heart. 
            I learned that God teaches little lessons as we grow and when our hearts change.  It is a process.  A journey.  I couldn't go from RAGE to Kindness.  It had to be a process and I had to learn why and how.  Journeys. 
          Last Sunday, my pastor's wife talked of the prodical son story in the Bible.  He welcomed his son back who had wasted all of his wealth.  But he did not exclude the son who stayed home and did as he should.  There was also a song that we sang that said, "The world is as it should be"  One line in a song that just jumped out at me.  Why get angry or hurt by those who are lost and blind.  They know not what they do.  God can work in peoples lives.  We are to just be kind and share Jesus Christ by the way we live.  I read somewhere that "We may be the only Bible they read"  We are the examples, The lights, the candles. 
         My son reminded me of who I was.  He read previous blogs and reminded me of the horrible person I was.  I am not that person anymore.  God used my wonderful son to remind me that I am not the person anymore. 
        My pastor, Dan, at Dayspring Christian Church in Knightdale, North Carolina, has been doing a series on journeys in the Bible.  The Bible is full of "journeys."   Life is full of journeys.  Pastor Dan's sermons are always good and seem timely for what I personally need to hear.  God is so good.  His doing this series has made me really think about "journeys" and the reasons and purpose of them all.  As I said, the Bible is full of journeys.  Life is full of journeys too.  PRAISE GOD!