MAYBE IT IS THE RAIN!

   I am just so sad today.  Teary.  Yesterday someone that I hadn't seen in a while asked what I had been up to.  My mind went BLANK!  I had no answer except to say, "Nothing"  I feel I don't do a darn thing with my life.  Truth is I feel people would not approve or they would judge me for not doing what they think I should be doing.  Today I have a headache and just feel worthless.  Maybe it is just the dreary rainly day.   When people ask me questions I  don't have an answer.  Maybe this is why I am losing in court.  I dont have questions for Wesley and when asked questions, I dont have a "good" answer.   Devoting my life to my family is what I do.  But I feel people think I should be out in the world doing things,,,being active.  I want to get my home in order.  I pray for the hurt..since I cant "DO" anything but pray.  I write my thoughts down, which is something I love doing,   I want to serve God.  I want to worship God.  I want to Glorify God all day long.  I want my life to be a light for God.  I want to share the importance of the Bible and share that God gave us Jesus to cover our sins.  Because of Jesus we are forgiven for our shame.   I love my family so much.  Each one of my children, their spouses, my grandchildren, my dad, my brother and my husband are my encouragers.  I had tears of joy today because my daughter in law is just a loving and wonderful person.   I feel blessed.  But I also have sad tears because I dont feel good and I am so dang lazy!!  In MY eyes, I am lazy,  I should be active all day.  Not sitting down at all.  Sleep 7 hours and up and do what I w ant to get done!  I need to do better with my health.  I try and it's not better.  I hurt and my doctor doesnt seem to care.  But I feel I am using my conditions as an excuse for just sitting in front of the computer or the tv.   Well That's it for today. 

HODGE PODGE

I just dont get it!

Verse about I was only kidding verbally abuse.  TO BE CONTINUED LATER ON.....




Prayers and puppies Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 3:53pm ·



So much comfort and peace when you pray about stressful times. It seems things happen at the same time..overwhelming me. Prayer brings comfort. My mommy dog got away from me while I holding her on her leash. The two puppies ran after her. She and one puppy came home. The other is lost : ( I found someone who has a lot of land on a farm who will take all the girls. This is an answer to prayer. But I am so sad that "Bug" is lost..trying to find her way home. Lord please bring my puppy home.



Changes need to be made.
 Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 1:54pm

I have to confess. My life is what I have always dreamed of, but I am not using it to the glory of God. He gave me a gift and I am wasting it. I could blame it on health, but ..ohh maybe God is telling me to rest. After all the doctor told me to get more sleep. Truth is I dont sleep a straight 7/8 hours. I sleep in periods of 2 to 4 hours at a time in the 24 hour day. adding up to more than 8 hours a day. I need to quit whining, ignore the pain, eat right, sleep right (but do you know that last night the dogs slept through the night? all of them..so I got a good nights sleep last night) and I need to just active and do what God has put on my heart to do for my family. I say NO! to tiredness and NO! to procrastination! Do it NOW! Do it God's way. Flee Satan! Begone!!
I have to confess that I am on facebook way too much. I have to change my ways. I guess it is true that I need to "get a life" It just gets kind of lonesome being home day after day with no one to talk to. Facebook is my friend. : ) I few more days and I think I deactivate this account. I will limit my time to once a day for a total of 10 minutes. August 15 will be when I delete my account.

I think it is cabin fever

　

So sad ..the fatalities on the highways. I had to call 911 on a tractor trailor who was tailgating me in the right lane and then HE PASSED ME GOING OVER THE SPEED LIMIT! ON THE RIGHT! WHERE THIS IS NO ROAD!. He was going so fast and it was dark that I couldnt get the liscence number. He also went into the left lane cutting a car off and the car had to swerve! But it was an easy truck to identify by the lights and the cargo. I hope they got him.

Forgiveness_____came across this poem, the message is that God forgives us of our pasts. As long as we change our foolish ways and live HIS way.

MY EMI

She waits for me

She plays in happiness

She is how all little girls should be

I didn't take that away

My baby Emi

She is looked upon with love and joy

She is so beautiful she shines

She is full of perfect love

I didn't take that away

My little girl Emi

She sits on the lap of Jesus (He said let the little children come to me)

She is loved by Him

She is the joy in Jesus' eyes

I didn't take that away

My daughter Emi

She saw my pain, guilt and shame

She knows God still loves me

She knew I would be forgiven

I didn't take that away

My child Emi

She knows her waiting will be over one day

She waits for my loving arms to hold her

She will know me right away and run to me

I didn't take that away

My angel Emi

Emi Rose is dancing in Heaven wearing a beautiful yellow dress.

Laurie Kemper 2011

psalm 25

1. *[A Psalm] of David.* Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. 2. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me. 3. Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. 4. Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. 5. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou [art] the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. 6. Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they [have been] ever of old. 7. Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O Lord. 8. Good and upright [is] the Lord: therefore will he teach sinners in the way. 9. The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way. 10. All the paths of the Lord [are] mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies. 11. For thy name's sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it [is] great. 12. What man [is] he that feareth the Lord? him shall he teach in the way [that] he shall choose. 13. His soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth. 14. The secret of the Lord [is] with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. 15. Mine eyes [are] ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. 16. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I [am] desolate and afflicted. 17. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: [O] bring thou me out of my distresses. 18. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. 19. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. 20. O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. 21. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. 22. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.

　

This is dedicated to Jeff. He kept trying to get me to listen to the song. He said it was the perfect song that expressed how he felt in his addiction. But I was too angry to really listen to the song until after he was gone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvkzoqQ5Oak

MY PHILOSOPHY

my philosophy

I. It takes some meditation time (Time with God at the top of that mountain) All this goes along with the verse in the Bible about laying up treasures. I feel this includes the meaning of only having in our possession the things that we really need or cherish for our purpose in life, our goals and our roles. And all these need to be glorifying to God. My motto is " Do it Gods way". Read the Bible and do what it says! Every thing we need to know in life and how to live our lives is in the Bible. It is so simple. It is just hard to organize what the Bible says into a particular topic. Also that everything! we do should be glorifying to God. Every word out of our mouths should be glorifyingto God edifying others and building up others. serving others.

Opinion or Judging??

We all can have opinions but we must be careful that we are not judging others. Sometimes though opinions are for correction. Anyway what a person says to another should be said in love, not to hurt. to be continued..come back and read more : )

God's Crayons

God's Crayons

by Laurie Russell Kemper on Thursday, October 6, 2011 at 2:33pm ·

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!

GOD'S CRAYONS

As I stand, I see the work of our Heavenly Father
The delicate petals of the flowers
Whites, yellows, reds, and oranges
The mighty trees
Wonderfully put together
With branches of changing leaves.
Browns, yellows, reds, greens and oranges.
The grass that grew so tall after a summer rain,
Is now getting ready for the coolness of autumn
Greens, yellows, and browns
The magnificent sky
The paintwork of God
Deep dark to the palest hint of blues,
Dotted with fluffy clouds
and wispy paintbrush lines of white.
Blues and whites
The warm sun shines so bright
enhancing the beauty of what I see.
Yellows, reds, purples, browns, blues, greens, and oranges
As the Yellow sun decends.
God shows us His colors
Pink, purple, yellow, and reds
that light up the sky with such perfection.
Further desention of the orange sun,
The sky transforms to the midnight blue of night
Blues and blacks
With a circle of white shining down with a cool breeze around me.
God's Crayons
God's Art
God's beauty
All made for us.
Laurie Kemper 10/06/11

Let Go!!

Let Go!!

by Laurie Russell Kemper on Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 5:40pm ·

Let go! Let go! Let it go!!! she screams in her head.
Whether it was good or bad,
If it is weighing you down,
Hold you back,
Keeping you from moving on,
Let it go!!
With everyone that we lose,
We either have joyful memories.
Or we have memories of hurt and pain.
Let it go and move on.
For those who lost the one who brought happiness.
Keep those memories safe in your heart,
Let go of the sadness of their leaving.
For the ones who have painful memories.
Of how someone brought hurt upon them.
forget the heartache, forgive the person.
You cant change the past.
Reflect on the good in them,
Let go of the pain and Move on!
Stop letting the past hold you down,
Stop letting the evil on have a foothold on your life
Forgive what has happened,
the burdon will be lifted.
God is in control and always has been.
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! and be Free!
Live your life knowng that you are a child of God.
Let go of the boat!!!! Laurie, Let go!!
Leave it in the box, You gave it to God.
Be free and happy. Joy in the Lord.

11-10-11

This was me! I am quiet..but no wait! Perhaps I do talk to much.

I am reminded of a story.
There was a lady, Isabell, who was very quiet and only spoke when she had something important to say. She was a great listener and many people shared their woes with her and would ask her to pray for them.
Another lady (Abigail) was going to start a Bible study in her home. She invited a lot of people and did a lot of planning. One day a lady (Sally) asked Abigail who all was coming to the Bible study. Abigail went down the list of names of those who had committed to coming. She named off Isabell and Sally yelled out (sarcasticly)" oh no! You will never get her to shut up!" Well Abigail didnt know Isabell at all. She knew who she was and they had spoke common courtisies in passing. When Abigail saw Isabell, she took Isabell to the side and told her that in order for the Bible study to go well and that everyone have a chance to share, she wanted her to not dominate the conversations and allow others to talk. You know what Isabell did? She did not speak the entire Bible study. Her feelings were so hurt that the little bit she had talked in prior Studies, were concitered "too much" Sally should not have said what she said, even if she was kidding or being scarastic. Abigail took her as telling the truth. It is just amazing sometimes how communication or what people say can cause so much trouble. Just be careful in your words. There are many many MANY verses in the Bible on watching our tongues.

YES I DO WORK!! or do I??

It seems like lately many people have asked me, "Where do you work" or "What do you do" I am not good at responding with an intellegent answer. I normally say, "I dont do anything, just stay home and take care of the house, my family, and am available if my kids, grandkids, dad or brother need me" But my job (which I got from the Bible) is a helpmate (wife) to my husband. We have one car and so I am his transportation to and from work. This works for us. I cant work a full time job or even a regular part time job, because I have to be available for Paul (my hubby) His schedule is so unpredictable. Sometimes I have to be up in the middle of the night for him. I am very happy with my job as a wife and mother. I do sub for the Wake County Public School System and I love this job too. I dont do it everyday or even once a week. The jobs I take all depend on my husbands schedule or if I have something to do with the kids or my dad. The down side to my husbands job , is we cant plan anything. I can't commit to anything. Also, if he does occationally have some time off, we spend it together. Like one day this past week, he had some time to spare so we went to the museum. I have had some guilty feelings because I dont work outside the home. I dont have young kids to stay home with. I was beginning to think, " What is my good reason for not working?" and feeling bad because I dont have a job. We are just praising God that Paul has a good job now. For a couple of years he didnt have one. I did sub more back then. We would sell stuff to make money. Workmans comp didnt pay all the bills. I was so sad when Paul sold his truck so we could live. This is why we are down to one vehicle.
I take what people say to me at heart. No I am not old enough to be retired. Yes if I worked we would have more money..but we are fine. Yes, If I worked, it would take the full burden off of Paul to to provide all the money. BUT this is how we want our lives to go. The man provides for his family. We are happy. God has provided. I am blessed to be able to work at home, running a household, being available if my children need me, if my grandchildren need me and if my dad needs me. But more importantly, I am a helpmate to my husband. He comes first, he knows he can depend on me and he is happy in his marrage to me.

Just Ideas...Yeah, Ideas

I spend a lot of time planning and making lists.  My daughter even gave me a book of lists! : ) Then I bought two more books.  Various types of lists.  Interesting.  Anyway...My goal for many MANY years has been to get rid of "stuff"  in my house and my barn.  My late husband was a pack rat and I have a hard time "letting go"  of stuff.  Especially the kids stuff.  My kids are 30, 25 and 16.  That means when my youngest is 18, I will have been raising kids for 33 years!!!  Ok..Well anyway, I am trying to simplify my life with less stuff, so as the years go on, I am better at "letting go" of baby stuff, kids stuff, late husbands stuff, my mom's stuff and my stuff.  When I married Paul, we combined two households and that added more STUFF!.   Ok..I spend a lot of time planning how to do this BIG project.  I will tell you that I have gotten rid quite a bit.  I have sold stuff, donated stuff, given stuff away and tossed stuff.  You know the Bible says to simplify our lives.  Life should not be complicated.  We should not have so much stuff or be so busy that we take our eyes off Jesus or so we dont have time for Jesus.  The Bible is full of how we should live so that we can serve others and keep our eyes on Jesus.  I seem to go off in tangents.  Now you may understand why I dont get much done.  Back to the main point of this letter.  I spend a lot of time planning! how to get rid of my stuff and how to be organized.  I have so many magazines and books to help me.   But I seem to come up with my own ideas.  I am now trying to figure out which one will work the best for me.   1)  Just list what I want to do and then DO IT!! adding to the list.  I call this "list as I go"  2) Write stuff on a calendar (I have a calendar and a datebook)  I have to write everything down! I have little sticky notes stuck inside my datebook and in my purse of things I write down as I think of things to do.  I have many pads of sticky notes and lists pads. That I get at the dollar store.  I also buy cute colorful pens at the dollar store.  I love pens that are different colors.  I love colorful paper too.  Here I go again..down a tangent.   3)  A small file box with small file folders. One for each room in the house, the yard, the car, and the barn, storage room and storage building.  On index cards I list everything that needs to done in that area.  4)  I have a blank calendar (that I got from the dollar store!)  I call this "Day and Date"   I label the top, "Months starting on Monday" and have a calendar for each day of the week.  On the dates I write down a room or an area.  This is the "room of the day"
Sundays are always fun, family and rest days.  5) Then I have the list of what to do on each day of the week.  Mondays...laundry, floors,  etc... Tuesdays.... and so one (this one does not work for me..just like having a set menu for each day of the week.  My former mother in law  did this and I found it boring.  Monday was her steak day, Tuesday pork, Wednesday...chicken   Thursday....  Stew Beef,   Friday..fish  ,Saturday...burgers and hotdogs and Sundays...pasta.  Now that I think about it..it would make shopping easy and it would help in the "what's for dinner?"  AND there are so many variables for each thing.  6)  This seems to be my favorite and I think I will use this plan. 
I got a teacher grade book (Yes from the dollar store!!!  I am serious!)  In the place of the students names, I write my list of everything I want to do in one day.  In the little squares, I use them  for short notes and to check off what I did.   Here is my list of what to accomplish each day.  I dont want to do everything on the list, but hit them all at least in a weeks time.  Some are everyday things.  I also realize that things come up, so I am very flexable. 

Bible/Pray/ Bible study
Serve or encourage others
Check datebook/check calendar
$/Bills/update
Files/office
Room of the day
Cards for room of the day
Fly (from flylady site)
One box from barn
bsc ea room (basic each room)
check sub jobs/check wcpss job openings
w/d/v (wash, dishes, vacuum)
blog
computer/delete
exersize/diet/meds/blood
project
dogs
Paul's requests (or if I knotice that he is irritated by something that is not cleaned up..attack this!)
donate/sell
read
movie/watch recorded
Eli drive
shower/dress/jewelry
picture project
birthday project
consolidate Bibles
Go through cds/dvds
family
cook/bake
sew/sell
my clothes project
court/wesley preparation
sleep (at least 7 hours)
eat
sticky notes
catch up..whew!!!

I figured if I work on a project..little steps...a little each day..eventually the job will get done.  Also the more I do in all areas, the less there will be to do as time goes on. 

NOW, I just need to do this.  I have to confess that I spend way too much time on the computer and in front of the tv.  I need to be accountable for this.  

What is MY mission in life??

First of all, forgive me if I repeat myself.  I am back again to wondering what I should be doing to serve others and glorify God.  People say to think about what your passion is in life and  do something related.  People say to use your past or your life lessons.  People say to use what you are good at.  People say...People say..  But what does God say??  I have been praying and searching scripture.  To be still and listen..listen for God's answer.  Be still..be quiet.  When overwhelmed in a state of panic someone told me to just be still and quiet and do nothing! for 24 hours.  That was good advice.  Ok, back to being still and quiet.  My heart aches for all the pain and suffering in the world.  I am one of these people who wants to do something about all of it.  There is even a song out now about this very thing.  But I need to listen more carefully to all the words.  All I know is this is a fallen world.  There is a lot of hate, anger and pain in the world.  That is why we need Jesus.  Jesus didnt save everyone..we cant either.  We can only take care of ourselves and share Jesus with those we come in contact with.  People that God puts in our lives on a day to day basis.  Our family, our co workers, our friends, and people we run into when out and about in the world.  So what is my mission in life.  What are my roles and goals?  Some good advice is to start my day out with some quiet personal time with God.  In prayer and in the Bible.  Being still and quiet and just listening.  Pray about my day! 

I have taken classes on various topics related to trying to figure out what to do.  There was one on being overloaded.  There was one on boundries, one on goals and roles and one about "what's in your hand."    Now to just apply what I have learned.  Being overloaded...dont look ahead..just take care of what is in front of you right now!  Boundries...keep your boundries and dont let anyone cause you to step over them and let them step into yours.  It is ok to say "no".  We are not door mats.   We know ourselves better than others know us.  Speak up and tell someone if they are in your space.   Goals and roles..think on what these are.  Think on goals that you have for yourself.  Think on your roles in life.  My main goal is to get my home in shape so that is a safe haven for my friends and family.  That is glorifies God!  Get rid of all unuseful stuff.  I need to "let go" of stuff.  I want to clean out my barn.  I want a place for everything and keep everything in its place.  I want everything in my life and home to be organized!!!  and clean!  My roles are wife, mommy, grammy, daughter, sister and friend.  

So now some other things that I can think about to help me figure out my life service.  What are my passions?  I hate mistreatment of animals and people.  I love babies!  I love to bake.  I love movies and I love writing.   I love children!!!! and puppies. 

What about my past or my life lessons?  I am ashamed of my past.  But I have learned so much.  I can relate to those who have had abortions.  Being in an unyoked marriage and in an abusive marriage.  Having a drug addict husband.  Being abandoned.  Being promiscuious. 

What am I good at?  I think I am a good mother and grandma.  I love to send cards to encourage.  But I really dont know what I am good at.  I have failed at most things that I have tried to do to honor and glorify and serve God.  Being in a prayer group.  Working at a crisis pregnancy center. Leading a Bible study.  I failed because I was never asked to do things again.  I was not given a good evaluation.  '
I really want God to tell me what I am good at.  I want God to tell me what to do with my life.  Is working at home taking care of everyone and being available really enough in life?   Is this enough for God??  These are the questions I have and I will be quiet, still and wait for God's answer.  I will listen. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Matthew 22:37–39
Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' (NKJV)
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (NIV)
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ... (NIV)

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (NIV)
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV)
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV)
Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (NIV)
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (NIV)
1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. (NIV)
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (NIV)
1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (NIV
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (NIV)

Thankful for so many reasons. My praises out number the problems in my life. It seems like it is just one bad thing after another, but God is in control. All I have to do is pray for His help and " worship while I wait". Satan wants me to fret, worry and drive myself crazy sick. But Jesus wants me to be peaceful.

My problem is that when things go wrong, I dwell on the sadness of it.  I hang on to the hurt.  On the flip side, when the good, happy things occure I am not joyful.  I am not trusting.  I just feel the good thing will go away or it wasn't true.  I need to work on this!  Lord help me.

More Thoughts

Everyone has their choise of what kind of church they want to go to.  I have found that I dont care for the massive huge churches.  They dont have a "family" feel and I would like to know most of the people who attend the church I go to.  I dont care either for the church were the preacher is in another town and his sermons are sent to smaller churches where people sit and watch a screen.  I want a church that teaches the truth and that my children are safe in.  I also want a church where my children are happy.  There is nothing wrong with everyone attending the church they are happy with.  I think it is fun to grow with a church.  Start small.  I once said that a church I attended just got to big..to many people..and it lost it's family feel.  But there is nothing wrong with that at all.  This church is doing great things for the Lord.  I lift them in prayer! I left another church because my children and I did not fit in.  My husband didnt attend church and out marriage was not the best (the word for it was abusive) I dont think people knew how to treat me or what to say to me.   I was not a stay home mom , nor did I home school.  My daughter was a "problem" child and another mother said she did not want her daughter knowing kids like my daughter.  She had every right to protect her daughter.  That was fine.  We moved on (after 11 years)  My son had a learning disability and could not read well.  The girls in his sunday school class, teased him.  So we moved on to a church where the children were accepting of him.  This same church was accepting of my daughter.  We stayed at this church for many years (9 or 10) until it just got to big for me.