MAYBE IT IS THE RAIN!

   I am just so sad today.  Teary.  Yesterday someone that I hadn't seen in a while asked what I had been up to.  My mind went BLANK!  I had no answer except to say, "Nothing"  I feel I don't do a darn thing with my life.  Truth is I feel people would not approve or they would judge me for not doing what they think I should be doing.  Today I have a headache and just feel worthless.  Maybe it is just the dreary rainly day.   When people ask me questions I  don't have an answer.  Maybe this is why I am losing in court.  I dont have questions for Wesley and when asked questions, I dont have a "good" answer.   Devoting my life to my family is what I do.  But I feel people think I should be out in the world doing things,,,being active.  I want to get my home in order.  I pray for the hurt..since I cant "DO" anything but pray.  I write my thoughts down, which is something I love doing,   I want to serve God.  I want to worship God.  I want to Glorify God all day long.  I want my life to be a light for God.  I want to share the importance of the Bible and share that God gave us Jesus to cover our sins.  Because of Jesus we are forgiven for our shame.   I love my family so much.  Each one of my children, their spouses, my grandchildren, my dad, my brother and my husband are my encouragers.  I had tears of joy today because my daughter in law is just a loving and wonderful person.   I feel blessed.  But I also have sad tears because I dont feel good and I am so dang lazy!!  In MY eyes, I am lazy,  I should be active all day.  Not sitting down at all.  Sleep 7 hours and up and do what I w ant to get done!  I need to do better with my health.  I try and it's not better.  I hurt and my doctor doesnt seem to care.  But I feel I am using my conditions as an excuse for just sitting in front of the computer or the tv.   Well That's it for today.